The Path of Roses 🥀

PART 2: CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Word Count: 2,733

(This one is a long chapter . I hope you like it🤭)

Saturday, September 4th, 2004 (1 month, 5 days after Jordan's Diagnosis)

~

I open my eyes. I don't know where I am.

I'm stuck in this dark space.

I hear faint sounds of engines. I don't know whether I'm actually hearing cars or I'm just imagining it. I feel anxiety soaring through my veins, despite the fact that I normally enjoy and find peace in dark atmospheres or moments when I'm by myself.

"Hello! Anybody out there?" I shout.

I shout this several times until all of a sudden, a lamp dimly lights up. I see Jordan Walker. He's laying on a bed, breathing rapidly and deeply, and even sweating a little bit. His fingers are gripping tightly on the bed sheets.

I have no idea what's going on or why he's acting like this. I'm trying to ask Jordan what's wrong, but no sound comes out of my mouth. It's like someone put me on mute.

"What the hell is happening?!" I want to shout from the bottom of my lungs.

I can somehow hear Jordan's heartbeat in the air. It echoes through the infinite dark void. He's trying so hard to catch his breath, but his heart rate is slowing down. 

My eyes widened. I know what's happening. 

I rush to his bedside, holding onto Jordan's hand. My lips are moving fast, trying to tell him to keep breathing even though I knew Jordan could not possibly hear me.

"Don't give up Jordan. Please! Don't give up! I need you!" I begged.

Jordan starts to cry, making his body shiver even more. I'm stroking his face, gently wiping off the tears from his eyes. His beautiful blue ocean colored eyes.

"I'm okay Victoria." He whispered, trying to smile. "Really. I am."

His once breathing chest slowly sinks down back to size. The echoing of Jordan's heartbeat suddenly fades away.

~

My eyes suddenly open and I jump off my bed. I look around and I'm in my bedroom. I see my alarm clock. It's almost 2 o' clock in the morning. My body is shaking and my stomach feels nauseous.

"It's just a dream, it's just a dream, it's just a dream." I kept telling myself as I paced back and forth in my room. I could feel tears springing out of my eyes. I brush them off as I keep taking deep breaths. 

I knew I had social anxiety, but I've never experienced a panic attack like this before. Especially after having a nightmare. It made me think about Jordan's letter when he admitted that he struggles with anxiety and PTSD. If I can barely handle this, I can't imagine how hard it must be for Jordan to go through this every single day.

A part of me longed to call him just to hear his voice and laughter. But I didn't want to burden Jordan with any of my problems. The poor boy needed his sleep, I decided. So I did not call him.

I suddenly stood still in my room, hearing my mind race with countless thoughts and questions.

What the hell just happened?

Why did I have a dream about Jordan?

Was this a vision?

Did I actually witness Jordan's death?