First, only, and last time

.12.

Heeseung almost never left his office the nights that followed.
He was still sitting there concentrating on what he was writing as if often.
Jake thought back to the last time he had joined him there.

This night full of revelations, so many things had changed since then.
Yes he felt like he got to know him better, but somehow he felt like it had kind of pulled them apart due to the evidence of the years that separated them both.

If we omit the part of the kiss...
That too had changed things.
But neither of them talked about it again.

Heeseung dipped his quill into the inkwell.

This gesture so familiar and yet so different this time.
Because this time it was not his dreams, his memories or his personal thoughts that he wrote, but his feelings that he put down on paper.

He had never been so diligent.
He took the time to trace each words carefully.
Which gave these magnificent sentences.
The Italian words he wrote down were all so delicate, as was what they meant.

Why Italian?

Because those words were addressed to someone, to Jake.

And he didn't want him to read them.

Ironic? Certainly.

It's not that he didn't trust Jake, he had always respected his privacy, but he didn't trust what he was writing on these pages.
It scared him.

  *

Love was a far too new  feeling for him to take the risk of revealing it like this.
But he was dying to.
Knowing that his questions would fly away if he confided.
Like for the last time.
Deep down, he knew it wasn't just fear that was holding him back.
But he felt strongly that he didn't deserve Jake's love or forgiveness.

They had talked about it, and despite Jake confirming that everything was fine, he couldn't help it.

Lately they remain cloistered in his library at his office.
He missed Jake a lot, even though he wrote about him only.
He didn't like the paradox he had gotten himself into.
He knew that all his problems were really just one.

The lack.

He missed his mortal life, he missed his mentor, he missed Jake.
But all of that could be solved easily.

Jake.

Of course, he was his solution.

He had been his company for so long, he was all he needed, and he finally rose from his chair, dropping his quill and blowing out the candle.

He sped through the corridors in search of his companion.
Companion he found in flower gardens.

- Jake?

He jumps.

- Heeseung? I didn't expect to see you.

- I finished what I was doing... What are you doing?

- I just went out to get some fresh air.

- Can I show you something?

He saw him, hesitate for a moment, but he didn't know what was causing this hesitation.

- Follow me.

Not expecting an answer from the other, he left.

He returned to the forest this time to accompany Jake.