To Die Happy (Tmnt Donatello Fanfic)

20.The Beginning Of The End

Leonardo

Weatherbeaten trees flap in the wind as my hands grasp numbly at the unforgiving handle of April's casket. Even if I have the strength physically to hike up a desperately overgrown field, emotionally, I'm drained and just exhausted.

Even more wind picks up as we reach the hole in the ground in the middle of the clearing we cut earlier to allow the job to be easier for us. I loan for the freedom of both my hands to reach up and cover the slits that allow me to hear, and block out the awful sobbing of Mr. O'Neil. I can't even begin to think of how unfathomable this must be on him. Losing his wife and now losing his daughter in such a way Master Splinter was hesitant to let him see her remains.

Poor April. Her porcelain skin had been stained with her own blood, her throat a half severed mess that Master Splinter had to stitch up to cover how much of a mangled mess it was. Mikey and I couldn't even be in the same room as him when he had to clean up anything gory and it just made me feel all the more helpless to know our father had to clean up our mess. Even if Karai was the culprit, we were still the ones who got caught.

My heart breaks even more listening to my baby brother cry. No, crying isn't a strong enough word for the strangled noises that are escaping him and I know myself how much he's trying to stop himself. I wish Donnie were here to console him, or even Raph could do a better job than me right now.

We pray quietly at the graveside and all I can focus on is the weakness in my legs that threaten to give out. I don't want to mourn April, it just makes her death final even though she's already dead. I don't want to focus on the pain of losing her, all I can feel emotionally now is the burning hatred I have for Karai. I will make sure the distant future has her in a box in the ground too.

Trying my best to block out Mikey's sobs, and the crying from Mr O'Neil, I childishly reach out one of my hands and grip sensei's to which he squeezes mine in response. I just need some sort of reassurance, the kind that can only come from my father.

We lower the coffin in to the ground and a quaking arm wraps around my shoulders. I look up to meet Casey's eyes staring back at me, tear tracked and tear filled. I return the favour and wrap my arm under his, and he bursts in to tears on my shoulder. A painful lump presses on my throat, and I haven't the capability to speak words of reassurance to him. Instead I fling his other arm around me, and grip him in a hug as I break down too. Grief's tendrils snake around us, encasing us in a hug full of despair and loss. It's too much to bear.

I hadn't realised we'd sunk to the ground until sensei helped us both stand up again, draping an arm around my shoulders as I clung to him like a small child. Among us sensei is the only one not blubbering and sobbing and trying to seek comfort from anyone that's in sight. I know inside he's probably crippled, April was like a daughter to him. Now he's lost two daughters.

I help him scrape the dirt in to the hole that now holds our friend, patting it smooth once it reaches the top. Sensei disappears in to the overgrown grass which almost surpasses him in height, re-appearing with a heavy looking rock in his hands. He places it at the head of the grave, reaching in to his robe and producing a small photograph of April, himself, Raph, Mikey, Don and I and put it under the rock so it would stay in place. Mr O'Neil produces a bright yellow rose and lays it down before continuing his sobbing. I never thought of bringing anything, and from the looks of it, neither did Casey, Mikey or Celyn.

Thunder rumbles loudly above us so loud it startles us all, and the rain suddenly pours down from the heavens. It was as though the weather felt our emotions too. Mikey let's out a wail, falling to the ground and I stumble over to comfort him. He let's me lift him, and it takes all my strength not to wail with him.

"Come my sons," Sensei drapes and arm around our shoulders, guiding us down the field. "Let us go home."

Home. Where Raph still isn't awake and Hannah is completely crippled. Where Donnie isn't there helping them but is enduring who knows what. I don't think I want to go home...

.......

Probably the shortest chapter I've ever wrote but I know this is long overdue.

Future chapters will be quite feels-filled. I've parts of them written and  I shouldn't be as long next time.

Thanks for reading and voting and COMMENTING!!!  Please comment, I LOVE feedback more than anything!

I'm out right now so there might be errors. Please point them out and I'll fix them :)

Till' Next Time!

-Aoifetello xxx

Next Time - Donatello gets an unexpected visitor while back at the lair, how is the family going to cope with the aftermath of April's funeral?