Beautiful War

Chapter 10 Ships on the Horizon

For the next several days, the whole of Troy held its breath. All of us are waiting for the arrival of the Greek army. For the bells of the city to toll, Priam had commanded that when the Greek ships were seen, the bells being tolled. Surrounding villages were fleeing into the safety of the walls of Troy. Overflowing the lower city, Priam opened up the upper city and the palace for any refugees that did not have a home to run to. Many Trojans both young and old had heard stories of the Greek brutality, of Agamemnon's ruthlessness toward his enemies. Priam had sent several messengers to nearby city states, begging for men, arms, and provisions for the coming war. Many of those same cities had their own tales of Greek brutality led by Agamemnon. So we hoped that they would be sympathetic toward our plight. So far it has been the Mysians who have sent 3000 men and supplies to us along with Thrace who has sent men, horses, and wheat enough to last a multi year siege. Also Andromache's father in Cilician Thebes had sent us 2000 men along with weapons and provisions as well. He was standing by with his fleet in a hidden cove on the other side of the plains of Troy, in case anything would happen during the war. But there were still more cities who had yet to respond to the call for aid. We prayed that more would come to our aid and that we would be successful in this war.

In the days after my arrival to Troy, I had spent much of my time with Andromache and Hecuba in the women's quarters in the palace. Though Andromache was welcoming and often spoke affectionately to me and helped me acclimate to the workings of Trojan court. Hecuba was cold and indifferent to me. She was still angry that her husband had not sent me back to Menelaus, and was worried about losing her sons on the battlefield. She showed affection to one person, Hermione. She did not blame Hermione for what was to come. But her affections ended did not extend to me; her mother. She hated the notion that her own daughter was locked in the widow's quarters, she could not accept that Cassandra was ill and had killed my friend out of fear that we would bring the downfall of Troy. Andromache tried convincing me that the coming war was not my fault, that Agamemnon would have found one excuse or another to attack Troy. Troy was the gateway to the East, and held valuable trade deals with the East. By taking Troy, Agamemnon could take that wealth and power for himself. But that still did not console me, I knew what was coming. At night, I would stand on Paris' balcony and stare out onto the sea. Staring out into the horizon, waiting to see the many ships that were coming. I knew that I did not regret bringing Hermione here, because here she would be free. But in coming here myself, by giving myself a chance to live. I may have doomed Troy, I may have doomed Hector and his family. Which included Paris. And I could not forgive myself for that. Though Pollux tried to tell me that there was no need to forgive myself. That I was a victim in this game, but I did not want to be a victim in this game. I wanted to be what I was, a warrior princess. Someone who made their own fate. I was in constant battle with myself. I was battling the person I once was, and the person I am now. I knew that one would win, I just did not know which was.

On the fifth night of waiting, I had put Hermione in her cradle and went to the balcony like I usually did. During the past five days, Pollux had me in the training grounds. He wished me to become the warrior I once was. Today was the first day I held a sword in five years, and I had to admit it felt good to have it back in my hand. I felt the sea breeze against my skin and shivered. I pulled my shawl closer and winced in pain, I was rather sore from today. Because though I remembered a great deal about sparring, I was still very rusty and slow. And I lost count of the number of times I landed on my backside. Hector found it amusing, and encouraged me to get back up. Paris sparred with me a few times, and I managed to get a few blows in. Both were amazed at how much I remembered. I knew that it would be some time before I was just as good as I was before the arrival of Menelaus and Agamemnon. The training also began to give me something I thought I had lost... Confidence. It was allowing me some control over my life. From what I saw from Trojan court life, women were seen as equals to men. And women had a say in the politics of running Troy as the men did. Hecuba often accompanied her husband in the council meetings. She was an astute politician, she reminded me so much of my mother. I knew that in the coming war, women would have to be just as strong as the men, and there was a part of me that wanted to show Hermione that women could hold their own, and make their own choices. That the men around them did not get to dictate their lives. I felt two arms wrap around my waist and pull me to their broad chest. I knew who it was, and relaxed immediately. In the days after Cassandra's attempt on my life. Hermione and I made permanent residence in Paris' chambers. I shared a bed with Paris ever since, he has never forced me to do anything, in fact he only held me as I fell asleep. If I had a nightmare, he would sooth me till I fell back asleep. He of course would kiss me any chance he got, but would stop himself before it went too far. He told me that he would not touch me until I told him to. He was the complete opposite of Menelaus. Where Menelaus showed me violence and cruelty. Paris showed me compassion and unconditional love. Never asking for anything, but giving everything. And little by little he was chipping away at the stone encasing my heart. I knew that soon my heart would be free, and I knew that deep down I wanted Paris. I just was not ready to admit that I wanted him. That I wanted him for more than just companionship.