Seventeen Oneshot

Coz you're my home (WonwooXChan) Pt 1

Chan stared at his reflection in the mirror. It was the first day of their concert. Of course, Chan loved performing in concerts, but the last few days were a little tough for him. everyone was so excited but all Chan felt was this unbearable heaviness in his chest. He was alone in the bathroom, staring at himself when something triggered within him, and the voices he had buried so deep in his head came to life again. Chan could hear the cheers of the fans.

"They are not here to see you," the voices taunted him. He closed his eyes tightly, digging his nails into his flesh, desperately trying to hold back the tears welling in his eyes.

"Chan, you in there?" someone called for him. He recognized the voice as Wonwoo's. He glanced at himself in the mirror and attempted to smile, but it was difficult.

"I've done this before, and I can do it again," Chan whispered to himself before taking a deep breath and opening the door to leave. Wonwoo was standing there, scrolling through his phone as Chan walked out.

"Let's go, hyung," Chan said, getting the older man's attention. Wonwoo looked up at Chan and stared at him for a few seconds, trying to read his expression. Chan anxiously worried that Wonwoo might have sensed that something was wrong, but then Wonwoo smiled and wrapped his arms around Chan's shoulders.

"let's go," Wonwoo said and walked out with him.

The concert was a success as usual. However, throughout the concert, Chan appeared lost in his thoughts. The rush of adrenaline coursing through his veins caused his anxiety to skyrocket, making it difficult for him to focus. The group leader gave him a concerned look and asked if he was okay. Chan nodded, but he knew deep down that he was far from okay. He kept making mistakes, and there was nothing he could do to fix it. He was aware that his team members would likely lecture him after the concert.

"Pathetic loser. that's why they hate you" The voices were back. he fought his tears all through the concert waiting for it to get over so he could go back to his room and cry himself to sleep again. Today was the first day of the concert and Chan already failed their fans and he hated himself for it.

The concert ended, and Chan tried to smile for the photo, but his tiredness was evident. He was the first one to leave the venue. While all the other members planned to go out to eat. Chan said that he was tired and wanted to head straight to the dorm. All the members sensed that something was wrong. They all saw him wither away during the performance. They thought that perhaps Chan was upset because of today's concert and wanted to be left alone. Seungcheol assured them that he would talk to Chan later but allowed him to go home and rest for now.

he reached the dorm, dragged his exhausted body across the living room, and sank onto the couch, resting his head back and closing his eyes. He felt as though his body would shatter if he moved even an inch more.

he felt exhausted, but it wasn't the kind of tiredness that could be fixed with a good night's sleep. The darkness had taken over Chan's mind, the same darkness that he had thought he had overcome a long time ago. Maybe it was the fact that he had messed up the crucial first concert that had brought him back into the depths of the darkness he had worked so hard to leave behind.

Chan had never been a selfish person; he always made sure not to burden others by asking for anything even when things got bad, he always overcame it by himself but right now, he wished he had someone who could hold him lovingly and assure him that everything was going to be alright.

He got up from the couch and walked to his room. He dropped his bag on the floor and sank into his bed. he lay there, staring at the ceiling in the dark, and tears began to fall from his eyes. he didn't understand why he was crying, but the tears just wouldn't stop. He curled onto his side, hugging his knees as small sobs escaped his throat.