His King, His Cariad

Excuse Me?

Large hands sit me up and softly brush away my tears. My mind is muddled, buried deep, and struggling to return to the surface. I know this feeling. I've experienced it once before... as After Bree. But, no, I don't want to go back there. To the anger and the hurt. I freed her. She shouldn't still be here, so close to–.

"Urr sf, ree."

"Huh?

Murmured words start to grow more demanding. My eyes focus on Sel's amber ones. His mouth is moving, but I can't quite make sense of what is coming out. Goodness, is there water in my ears? Everything sounds so hazy.

"What?" I whisper, "What did you say?"

He enunciates with slow, wide movements, "You are safe, Bree. Please, tell me what is happening."

My lip quirks up. "I would think you were being condescending if I couldn't see the worry on your face. I'm fine."

"Really? Just one minute ago, you told me you were not, in fact, fine."

Hm. Did I say that? My chin juts forward. "Well, I am. Now, please let me go." Becoming aware of the firm grasp Sel has on my shoulders, I try to push away. Of course, he doesn't budge an inch.

"Bree, I heard you choking. I thought," his dark brows push together, "I thought someone had gotten to you. Tell me what happened. Why–"

"Selwyn? " William's soft voice comes from the doorway. He takes in the scene before him– me, red-faced on the floor and Sel, leaning in front of me, looking like he's about to throw me over his shoulder and jump out of the window. "I saw you run up here and got worried." He pauses and meets my eyes. "Bree, honey, why are you on the floor?"

My mouth opens to make up an answer, but Sel beats me to it. "You need to check her. She says she is fine, but she was just convulsing on the floor."

I gasp. "I was not convulsing! I was merely short of breath." Sniffing indignantly, I say, "I can breathe just fine now, thank you." Selwyn's eyes flash to mine.

"Do you think this is funny, Briana?" His tone is dark and scolding.

"No. It's just not that big a deal."

"You–"

"Come on, Bree." William cuts in before Sel can say another word. "Let's get you off the floor and onto the bed." He reaches out his hand to help me up, but Selwyn scoops me into his arms. He sets me in Nick's bed gently and posts up beside me like a bodyguard. I turn my gaze away from him and see William kneeling in front of me. His hand hovers over my chest. I feel his aether pulsing through me, calming and helping me breathe even clearer. Next, he moves his hands over my head. Blue wisps of aether curl into my vision like smoke.

"Are you sedating me?" My eyes are beginning to droop as he guides me to lie back on the bed.

"You are already exhausted and worn out from the last few days. You just need some rest. We will talk more in the morning, OK?"

Not feeling up for a fight, I nod my head. In my waning peripheral, I see Sel watching me, and as my eyes close, his warm hand ghosts across my cheek. Their whispers grow farther away as, finally, my eyes close and sleep overtakes me.

******

The morning light is bright behind my eyelids as I feel something tickling my hairline. My hand reaches up slowly and pulls a square piece of paper from my head. It's a note from William.

Bree,

Alice came looking for you a little while after you went to sleep. She stayed with you last night. She just went to make you some cheese grits.

I find another sticking to my shoulder.

Also, Selwyn is not far away, so he will know as soon as you wake. Play nice, please.

Sighing, I sit up. A knock sounds at the door. "Come in, Selwyn."

"It's me, Matty," Alice says as she pushes the door open with a foot. She has a bowl with steaming hot grits on a tray. "The grumpy magician let me come in first to bring your food. How are you feeling?" Sitting on the edge of the bed, she puts the tray next to me and pushes her sliding glasses up her nose.

"I'm fine, Alice. You should be in class."

"Um, would you be in class if I was laid up after having a panic attack?" She has a dubious look on her face. "Don't insult me by assuming I'd neglect my best friend duties."

A little pout forms on my lips. "I'm sorry." A panic attack. I haven't had one of those since Momma died. I hate that. The feeling of regression. Of fracturing. Again. Alice's soft hand presses against my shoulder. "It's okay, Matty."

"What's okay?"

"To feel. I know you. I know you want to hold everything inside and deal with it alone. Don't do that. Not this time." Tears form in my eyes at the softness of her words. "Just let it out. Please, Matty." Her voice breaks. "I'm here. I'm not leaving you. We are Sam and Frodo. We have each other's backs."

I huff out a tearful laugh and throw my arms around her. And I let go. I break down for the second time in twenty-four hours. Alice holds me so tight, it's like she has a vice grip on me. No thinking. Just feeling. I can't remember too many times in the last few months when I have simply been—simple existence. There have been hurts and troubles and trials. Literal trials. Now with Nick missing... I don't know. He has been my rock through all of this. The only person who I could lean on through this with The Order who truly understood. He's become one of my best friends. We are bonded in ways that transcend generations. Arthur and Lancelot. Called together by fate.

After a few minutes, my tears dry, and my breathing slows. A few hiccups here and there. Alice pulls back and wipes tears from her face. A small smile graces her lips. She starts to say something when Selwyn barges through the door.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I just heard back from the Regents. We need you downstairs for a meeting, Bree." Alice picks up the tray of forgotten food and makes her way to the exit.

"Excuse you, magic boy."

Sel rolls his eyes. "Whatever, Unanedig. Just stay out of the way; we have business to take care of." He extends his arm, guiding her out the door. When Alice makes her way downstairs, he turns to me. I've just finished scooting down the bed when he asks, voice low, "How are you doing?"

"I'm doing okay, Sel. I promise." He must have heard the crying fest Alice and I just had.

"William said–"

"I know, I know. It's not the first time this has occurred, and it probably won't be the last." I move to walk past him, but he grips my arm with a light caress. He is so close.

"Does this happen often?"

Looking up at him, I see concern filling his eyes. Selwyn has such beautiful eyes. I could stare into them for ages. Get lost in them. His expression shifts, and a smirk tugs at his mouth. Eyes darken with smugness. His free hand grabs my chin and gives my head a little shake. The serious look returns.

"I'm serious, Bree. I need to know when something is wrong. Don't shut down on me. Please–" I move out of Sel's grasp. His embrace.

"Yeah, the lines and all that. Shouldn't we be getting downstairs now? Everyone is waiting for us." Hightailing it out of the room, I pull at my collar a bit. It was getting a little too warm in there for my liking. I jog down the steps and sit on a couch where I see everyone gathered. William shoots me a smile. I spot Alice behind me, brow lifted in my direction. I turn back before my face starts burning. Opting to walk at a slower pace, Sel has just made it to the lounge area. He moves to stand in front of all of us and begins the meeting.

"Alright, everyone. The Regents and Mage Seneschals will be here soon to gather more intelligence." Anger burns in his eyes at whatever he is soon to reveal. "However, on our call, they have informed us to," the heat of Sel's gaze rests on me when he says, "do nothing."

I stand from my seat. "Excuse me?" Air hisses from me in outrage. Selwyn turns and speaks to me directly. Rage is emanating from him. I can almost see smoke curling from his hair.

"We are to do nothing." Through clenched teeth, he continues, "We will continue with our normal activities. We will not begin our search for Nicolas."