Tranquil Chills

All A Dream

  Sliding my legs off my bed, I wanted to remember that dream clearly in my mind. I want to get a piece of paper and write it down...But I have no idea on how to write. In that dream, Rod taught me many things, including writing. And said I was getting on his soft side? These dreams are based on my memories, but they sometimes get so out of control... I don't know why. For all those years, I am like a transparent person, for sure. Why do I desire to be his friend? He is someone in his late twenties, quite a serious person with a bad temper, and almost double times my age now. Those are just childish things I imagined from the past. This place is perfectly quiet when there are no outbursts. 

  Time flew in dreams, that's for sure. In my sleep, I was four again. But I never had the guts to call the orphanage "a noisy dump". That's just...maybe that's just something I want to say, so I did it in my dreams? Then four years passed in the dream, but in reality, Rod never called himself "an expert" when he told me I will be helped out in the kitchen. The expert(s) are the chef minirods, and Matti, of course. But I dreamt of him helping me. I think these dreams are...secret desires? No. They are just random, bizarre things that pop out of nowhere. I rarely spoke to Rod. I trust nobody. And yes, I am a blunt person, and I hate the noise. Especially the noise of the insults in the orphanage, just because I am too quiet. 

  I donned my work dress and apron. Yes, I work in the kitchens with Matti. But revisiting the traumatic things I witnessed multiple times before... I've been unable to look at ice cream the same way ever since. I love their colours and their creamy texture. But I feel disgusted, extremely disgusted if I get to taste them. Gosh, I am different, am I?