Masked / L.B /

Chapter 3 ~

Luke's pov ~
I'm back home and to be fair I wish I never came back. Everyone is treating me like a baby and I'm sick of it, I'm 17 for goodness sake.I just wish I was alone and that everyone will stop following me everywhere I go because there overprotective, yes I should be thankful for that and trust me I am and its nice how they all care about me and all worry about me but they are to caught up that they won't leave me alone, if I want to go to the park I have to go with at least one person or they need to make sure I have my phone off silent and I am holding it in my hand when I go out instead of putting it in my pocket I still put it in my pocket anyway to be fair I don't care.

I've decided I'm going to take a walk instead tho I'm going to sneak out instead of tell anyone because if I tell them they will not let me go by myself especially Jai he's the most overprotective one here if anyone let anything happen to me than you do not want to go near Jai when that happens. The only reason they have been like this is obviously because of Lola they think I'm going to go and see her and she's going to Hurt me and second of all when I was in the hospital the doctors said that I'm starting to suffer with depression and I need to take my anti depressants or else I will get worse but I don't really want to take them I want to feel the pain that people go through everyday. A girl from my school had depression she never got bullied she never had family problems she had a perfect life but no one knew why she had it, when she walked down the corridor she always had her head down and hair covering her face I've always wanted to feel her pain I always wanted to know what it feels like to go through what she had to go through she wasn't the one who got bullied everyday and having family who didn't care about you but I never had it and I have the worst life, unfortunately she couldn't take it anymore and committed suicide and I was so sad even tho I never talked to her I wanted her to tell me everything she goes through everyday and now finally I can feel that pain it's probably not something I should be happy about because when it starts to kick in more that's when I can feel her pain and feel sorry for her and I'm scared, I can already feel it coming as I am locking myself in my room and I can't concentrate anymore or sleep well.
I'm trying to find a way to sneak out with out getting caught I would go through my window but I'm on the second floor and its quite a long way down, the only way is trying not to make a sound and just sneak out the front door but if I get caught than I'm screwed but fuck it I'm going.
I made it out the front door and no one noticed good. finally I am alone I feel good just being free yes I know that sounds weird but who cares.
I stopped at the local park and sat on the swing and just looked around thinking about how lucky other peoples lives can be and some people lives are not, while other people are having fun and smiling at the world I'm here sitting on the swing in the park at 7pm thinking about how unlucky I am and why I am even here.
Yep my depression is kicking in now. Fun.
I've been at this park for 2 hours now and I know everyone is probably going crazy and trying to find me but I don't really care this is more likely the only free time I get till they find me and I won't be able to leave the house, my thoughts Get interrupted by lily running towards.
"OMG Luke there you are you know everyone is looking for you Jai is going crazy and getting mad but I finally found you"
Lily says as she sits next to me on the bench.
Lily is my best friend she's always there for me when I'm down or need help and if something bad happens to me she'll always be there to tell me everything's going to be alright and for a thank you I knew Lily had a huge Crush on Jai and Jai had a huge crush on her but for some reason they were to scared to ask each other out so that's when I came in I set them both up on a fake date I said that I wanted Jai to meet this girl that I meet at a coffee shop but really it was Lily and than I told lily that I want to introduce her to this boy who goes to my school I put blindfolds on them and ran away and when they came back they seemed more friendly that usual and a lot less awkward around each other 2 weeks later they started going out and tomorrow is there 4 mouth anniversary, they are so cute together and they treat each other like they don't want to let each other go I wish me and Lola could be like that but I guess not that's life.
"Luke can I ask you a question?"
"Yeh sure what is it?"
"I know you have only had Depression for a week and a half but I can tell it's starting to kick in but what does it feel like having depression"
" depression? Ok well to me it feels like I'm trapped in this bubble but not alone instead Im with words, horrible words that hurt me every time they hit me and I can't get out of it I'm trapped and I can't do anything about it so the only thing that you can do is feel pain, pain helps you instead of those words hurting you it's yourself that's hurting you that's why people cut and they try to end there life because pain makes you feel better you feel free. Some people feel sad and down for a couple of days but when you have Depression it's everyday you feel like shit and you just want to end your life, I'm scared Lily but one side of me is happy to have it cause I finally get to feel pain and feel like myself I can cut and take everything away when I do it, I know you guys are going to stop me but what about when your not with me or I'm alone or I have ran away than I can hurt myself as much as I want even maybe kill myself......."
A/N 💝
Sorry I took so long to update but I had no ideas but yeh here is chapter 3 sorry it's short but it's still a chapter also if you haven't already go check out my best friends Lauren's book it's called ' bullied to the point ' it's amazing I know I have told you already but I want to tell you again 😂 please like, comment and vote and could you maybe give me some ideas for the next chapter 💖 well thanks for reading my book and I know your gonna love what's coming next ❤️ bye 👋