Masked / L.B /

Chapter 6 ~ inner thoughts

Jai's Pov ~

You know when you have that terrible feeling in your stomach when you know something bad is about to happen? Well that's what I feel right now ever since that incident with Lola and Jackson happened at maccas Luke hasn't been himself lately, the hate on social media is getting worse and it scares me, Luke's depression gets worse and worse everyday because he's not taking his tablets like I always tell him to and he is always cooped up in our room in bed. He just sits In the dark all alone just staring blankly at the wall.

Beau and Mum are getting more involved now with me and Luke but I just think it's to late they had 18 years to do that and they choose now but idk, idk weather to give them a chance, who knows they might get bored of us and leave us again but I should give them a chance, mum has been more motherly if you get what I mean Like she actually cares she worries about Luke a lot and helps me take care if him ( that sounds so babyish but you know what I mean ),

Over these past two weeks I've been thinking a lot, thinking about why life is so unfair I hate it sometimes, why can't it at least be generous to us. The thing I hate is that good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people like why? Why is that fair take Luke for example, he is the most sweetest kindest guy he will do anything for anyone and this is how god has to repay him? by giving him the worst life, getting him bullied and depressed? Yeh that's very fair, and than look at Jackson and Lola the two people who made his life a misery they haven't done shit for anyone and what do they get a rich family anything they want that's not fair I wish it was the other way round.

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One of my favourite quotes is " behind my smile is something you'll never understand ", I love that quote it basically sums it all up, people would walk round with a smile on there face and other people would automatically think oh that boy or girl is happy today, but that's not always the case. You know there's something called a ' fake smile ' if you didn't know already and people use it to show how there not hurting inside, there hiding all the negativity it's simple really if someone walked past me right now and they were smiling I would straight away be able to tell if it was a fake smile or a genuine one. Your facial expressions don't always show how your feeling, you could be walking around with a miserable face and people would think your moody but you may not be you might be happy as a kid that just found out he's allowed every packet of sweets in a candy store. Your probably wondering how I know or how I can tell that a smile is genuine or not, you see I've had to go through it all my life, hiding behind a fake smile because I'm scared one day I might lose everyone that means so much to me, the people I care about a lot might slip away.... But I've got to think positive I have everything I need right now and I'm happy. Especially having a best friend and someone you can rely on without being afraid they are going to slip away because I know pretty darn well that Luke will never leave me and I will never leave him, I will protect him will all I have and he would do the same to me.

We are inseparable!