"I'm actually a virgin."
I wanted to laugh. Because that had to be the biggest lie Calum Hood could ever tell anyone. So I did and I laughed loud enough that I probably had woken up my dad again. I laughed until my eyes had watered up and my stomach was sore.
"You're a lying piece of shit," I said seriously after my fit of laughter and crossed my arms over my chest. He had to be lying. I had heard enough stories about him and girls to write a book and then make that shit into a soap opera or something.
"I'm not lying," he whined and I heard the sound of his shoes hit the floor. Well I figured that he had realized he was sleeping on the couch and decided to get comfortable. "I swear I'm not lying," he said, in a much flatter tone.
"And how am I supposed to believe that?" I asked him with an eye roll that he didn't see since his eyes were closed. "Do you know all the stories I hear about you in class?" I laughed and he turned to look at me with a frown on his face.
"Did you ever stop and think they were just rumors?" He asked and he sounded angry, disappointed almost. Drunk Calum was turning out to be so damn vulnerable and I didn't know if that was a good thing for me or not. "I haven't had sex with anyone," he mumbled.
I sighed deeply and watched him as his eyes focused back on the ceiling. It was dark in the house with only a small amount of dim lighting, but the frown on his face was still there. He seemed disappointed still, upset even, and maybe that was because he didn't like the fact that I had been listening and believing all those things people said about it.
I sat beside him on the couch and his eyes met mine again. I knew he was still drunk off his ass, but he didn't seem that way.
"You promise you aren't lying to me?" I asked him and my voice came out too soft. Calum nodded. "Do you swear on your undefeated wrestling streak?" I asked him again, placing my hands on his shoulders to get his attention.
"Yes, I promise!" He groaned. "Stop it. That hurts!" He was whining again and I let go of his shoulders.
What did I know about Calum's life and what he did with girls anyway? People at our school did have the tendency to start rumors and spread them around like wildfire. Like in the ninth grade. Someone started a rumor that our school principal worked at the strip club on the weekends. Although I never payed attention to them much.
Suddenly I felt guilty for believing all the crap people said about him, because maybe that's all that it was. And why did I ever pay attention to it in the first place? At the end of the day, no one really knew what was true and what wasn't about Calum but himself.
"Alright, I believe you," I told him and folded my arms across my chest, hugging myself. "I'm going to bed. It's late."
"Wait!" Calum gasped, placing a hand on my arm and letting it rest there. "I wanna know something since you know one of my secrets now. You owe me."
I snorted. "You want me to tell you a secret?" Calum nodded, his hand still on my arm. "Well, I don't really know what I could tell you."
"Can I ask you one question instead then?" Calum asked me and I shrugged. "You don't have to answer it, but, where's your mom, Kara?"
My heart sunk into my stomach and I felt like I was about to throw up. I looked away from him, afraid that I might have started crying, and stared at the floor. No one had ever asked me about my mom. Not even Ashton, because he knew it was an extremely sensitive subject.
But I got the sense that with Calum, I could just tell him, and I didn't know why I felt that way with him. I didn't know why all of a sudden it seemed easier to talk to him. Maybe it was because he was drunk and I figured he probably wasn't going to remember any of this in the morning.
"My mom..." I paused to clear my throat and when I looked back at Calum he was sitting up and facing me. "My mom is living in some fancy beach house in the Hampton's with her new husband."
He was about to say something, but I kept going, "One day she came home and threw divorce papers in my dad's face. It was during school hours so when I got home my dad told me everything," I said and then shrugged, laughing nervously. "Kinda wished she would have left a note, you know? Like, bye, Kara! I'm leaving your father for my boss!"
Calum's hand pressed atop mine and he gave it a light squeeze and I knew what it meant so he didn't really have to say anything. But he did. "Hey, I'm sorry. That must have really sucked."
I shrugged again. "It's okay. My mom was always a self-obsessed workaholic and hardly payed attention to us. It didn't really surprised me."
"But you're mad at her," he stated. He didn't even need to ask.
"So mad," I whispered and looked down at his hand. "I just wish she would call so that I could have an excuse to tell her how much she sucks." My voice was shaking and the sudden lump in my throat seemed to be getting bigger.
"Hey, I know you're tough, but it doesn't hurt to cry," Calum said softly and I shook my head.
"I won't cry for someone who doesn't love me," I replied and looked back up at him. He looked tired and relaxed and... appealing. Like a distraction. I wanted that distraction.
So I said nothing when he just stared at me and I stared back at him. I said nothing when he sat up a bit more so that our faces were at the same level. I didn't say anything when his hand left mine and moved to the back of my neck. I still hadn't said anything when he was leaning forward and his eyes moved to stare at my lips for just a second and then back at my eyes.
And then something I would have never thought of happening, happened. Calum Hood was kissing me. And I let him.
My bottom lip fit between his in a strangely, perfect way, and it was as if there was an earthquake going on in my stomach. I wanted to slap myself when I realized how much I liked it; how much I liked the way he was kissing me.
I had never thought of what it would have been to kiss Calum, but damn, I had no idea that it'd be like this. His lips felt so soft as they moved against mine in slow and chaste open mouth kisses.
Finally, my hands decided to do something and they moved to the back of his neck as his moved to my lower back. Stop stop stop.
It wasn't me who stopped. It was Calum and I found myself, for some reason, disappointed.
"Shit, I'm sorry," he mumbled. "Kara, I'm so sorry. I don't know why I did that--"
"Calum, shut up. It's okay," I told him, wanting to going back to kissing him so he stopped talking.
"It was just so, you know, i-in case Luke did that to you. You know, kiss you or something when you guys hang out... In the future," Calum rambled and I scratched the back of my neck as he continued. "It was another lesson."
"Oh, right," I sighed. "I'm going to sleep," I told him and then got up to leave before he could say anything else that might confuse me even more.
I don't want to admit it, but as I walked up to my room, I realized that the fact that he had only kissed as a part of our deal made me sad. I was sad because he hadn't kissed me because he wanted to.
So when I got to my room and under the covers, I did the thing I told myself I never would.
I cried.
-
a/n: did anyone see that kiss coming haahahha
ok but it was about time right it only took them 12 chapters dang son
