Chapter 47

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Charlie POV

"I'm sorry I freaked out, it's just that when I have urges, they're so strong I can't resist them most of the time. So when I had that urge and I couldn't find my blade, I was terrified." I told my girlfriend carefully, strumming a pattern on the guitar and scribbling lyrics at the same time. "Don't apologize my love. I think I get it. It's like if your late for your job but you can't find your keys or your phone or anything you need, right?" I stifled a giggle at Taylor's choice of comparison but gave a nod because, honestly? She's pretty close. "Um, thanks for holding me. I know it's weird, the physical touch distracts me from the urge I think. Plus it's comforting." My cheeks darkened "Darling don't apologize. I love holding you." Taylor reassured and I just nodded, strumming again. "Hey I think I've got something, give me your opinion?" My girlfriend smiled brightly "Of course, I love hearing you sing."

Cigarette between her fingers
And a drink in her hand
She thought about the days
When her looks were still in demand
And wondered where the time had gone
When did everything go wrong

No more flowers at her door
No more phone calls to wait up for

And she just wanted to die
But it was easier, it was easier
To cry, cry
To cry, cry

Remembered fingers running through her hair as she wept
Got up to fix another drink
And cursed the memory she kept
When Jack would ease her heavy heart
And Jim would keep her from the dark
Woke up in her clothes and she smiled
And said romance was out of style

She just wanted to die
But it was easier, it was easier
To cry, cry
To cry, cry

They're just tears for the cause
Tracks for the lost
Betrayed by the heart
Waiting for sorrow to dissolve

But it's so easy to
It's so easy to

To cry, cry
To cry, cry
To cry, cry
To cry, cry
To cry, cry

Taylor was crying when I finished. I hadn't told her how I'd been up late night after night recently , crying. "Angel, talk to me, please." I nodded simply and kissed my lover. Although, Taylor didn't accept that "Charlie, my love, have you ever been....suicidal?" I shrugged, avoiding her eyes. Not wanting to tell her the truth, what if it hurts her? "Taylor I'm sorry, please I don't wanna talk about this right now. I'm safe, I promise you. Let's go watch a movie. Cats?" Tay's face lit up and she ran to the living room excitedly, though I could read that Tay was still worried for me. Chuckling I followed after her, making a fort and cuddling with my girlfriend as we watched the musical. Throughout the movie Taylor played with my hair, her arm protectively wrapped around me, occasionally kissing my forehead lovingly.

Hi! The song featured is Easier to Cry by TV Girl. Suggestions? Opinions? I know this is very jumpy and doesn't flow but I hope you guys like it.

-Brooklyn

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