Touchdown (Steve Rogers AU) - 18+

26

I send Steve a text over the next couple of weeks but hear nothing from him. He's not returned to college yet, having the job of going through Sarah's things now that the funeral is over. Bucky attended to provide some support, but I chose to stay away - telling him to give Steve the message that I was sorry. I couldn't say anything else though, no matter how much I wanted to. It just sucks that I couldn't be there for him when he needed it the most.
It turned out that on the day of our date, during practice, he'd been called out to be told Sarah was ill. He'd taken off back home straight away and apparently made it with just an hour to spare before she passed. 

I come out of my room one morning and find Bucky in the kitchen. I know he stayed over last night because Nat was loud as fuck. So much that it was disturbing. He looks at me and offers me pancakes, as though this is most natural thing in the world. I wonder just how awkward it would be if he came downstairs at his house one morning to see me there, cooking and wearing Steve's jersey. 

"How's Steve doing?" I ask as I sit down and pour myself some orange juice. 

"He's gotta come back in a couple of days - couple of scouts are gonna be watching the upcoming match next week. He doesn't wanna let the team down considering they're gonna have eyes on everyone". Bucky tells me. 

I sip my juice. "Is he even ready?"

"No, I don't think he is, but he's gonna - won't listen to reason or coach either".  Bucky pinches the bridge of his nose and massages it a little. "I'm worried about him. He says he's fine but even I can see he's not". 

"What about mom and dad? Are they helping going through her stuff?" 

He shakes his head. "Steve turned down the offer, said it was something he needed to do on his own".

I've tried to call him a couple of times, leaving voicemails just to let him know I'm here - but they've all been ignored. I don't want to bombard him, so instead I left the ball in his court and told him to call or text if he needed anything. 

So far, nothing. 

"How's he gonna be able to focus on the game though? He's just lost his mom and now there's gonna be scouts watching for potentials to go pro. It's gonna be too much for him". 

Bucky sighs heavily. "I dunno Lott, Steve's mind works in mysterious ways sometimes - but if he wants to play then he'll play. No one's gonna stop him, and coach won't bench him just because of what's happened. Not when he knows that he has a good chance of being snapped up". 

"You think he will?" 

"If he don't play like crap then yeah - I think he could be". Bucky shrugs and then sees Nat coming out from the bedroom. "Ah! There you are - breakfast a la Barnes". Pulling out her chair and giving her a kiss. 

I grimace at the scene, but know that from now I'll probably have to get used to it. "Thank you". She smiles as he now places a plate of food in front of her. 

"AHEM! Where's mine?" I raise a brow. 

"Get it yourself". He smirks as he sits down with his own plate. I just huff and get up to make myself some cereal. 

"You could've made some for Lottie, asshole". Nat smirks as she calls him out. Bucky simply shrugs and says "next time" while I take my cereal back to my room. 

**

I'm sat cross legged on my bed, starting another essay when there's a knock on my door, Nat poking her head around it. "Hey, erm - you have a visitor". 

Steve. 

I close the laptop lid as he walks in and get up, throwing my arms around him. "Hey..." 

"Hey". He says into my neck. 

"I would ask if you're ok, but I can see you're not". Now pulling away and taking in his tired eyes. His whole demeanour has changed, even with the hug it was a little distant - but I just push it to the back of my mind. He's just lost his mother. His mind is bound to be elsewhere. 

"I'm ok Lott". He replies, but there's no warmth. It's like he's a shell of his former self. 

We sit down on my bed and I look at him. "Was coming back for the game really a good idea?" 

"Mom would've wanted me to play it. Besides I've already missed two, I can't afford to miss this one as well". He tells me. "I'm sorry that the whole date night didn't happen". 

I shake my head. "Don't you dare apologise for going to your mom. I was worried about you though. Really worried. When Bucky showed the next morning I thought that something had happened to you". 

He smiles weakly. "Betcha thought I was an ass though, standing you up. I didn't think to message you to tell you that I was heading back. I needed to get home before she..." He trails off. 

"I know". I take his hand and squeeze it. "Anyway, we can rearrange for whenever you want. Dates? They don't matter - not at the moment. You can come over one evening, watch a shitty film with me to take your mind from things. Anything you want. We don't need to go out". 

With a nod, he leans in and kisses me. "I gotta go..." 

"Already?" 

"Yeah. Got class first thing then practice tomorrow evening. I can see you the day after though?" 

I have to just accept it. "Sure. I'll text you". 

Getting up, he goes to the door and I see him out. Nat opens the door to her room not long after. "Well? How is he?" 

I look at her and shake my head. "Not good, but I'm seeing him the day after tomorrow. He'll probably come over for the evening". 

"Well if anyone can get him back on his feet? Then it's you". 

Yeah. I hope so.