Normal - What Autism feels like (to me) (NOT FINISHED)

So... What's autism?

Well, that question isn't even that easy! For the psychological explanation and medical terms you maybe should consider studying psychology...

I am really into computers and software, like how they work. Maybe we should take MacOS as an example. A "neurotypical" person so probably you (if not, hi twin!) or in easier term someone that's not autistic is born with a Finder with all it's databases and Folders. Well on my Mac in which I am writing right now, is a folder for everything in this operation system. Music, Photos, Documents and crucial ones like Audio drivers, Bluetooth and other components that are important for the PC to work. So as an analogy, humans have the heart, breathing, tasting and other body functions as our folders. Those are the same, so individuals with autism are physically, totally fine. Well and there is one big folder, "Nervous System" inside this big folder, Neurotypical persons have the "social interactions" folder and the "Noise filter/regulations" folder and more. (I am shorting everything a bit so it doesn't become too long). What you need to know, when a folder gets deleted or corrupted, your PC doesn't work as it should. Same thing to us. What you can generalise about neurodivergent (fancy word different than what is considered to be normal) people like me is that we usually have problem with social interactions and - looking into someone's eyes! The reason I would like you not to generalise us totally is following: There are autistic individuals that are indeed not very well-spoken i.e have a problem to talk or interact with others or are extremely sensitive to loud noises but it is somehow different to me. I love playing metal and punk rock with my bandmates and it works to me. But feedback on amps (this loud, high pitched noises sometimes occurring on a microphone) is physically hurting and I am very sensitive to those or to sirens. But this is somehow normal. (Okay I am the only one actively reacting to fire sirens by covering my ears, lol.) But social interaction... well it depends like... A LOT. Without wanting to show off, I would consider me as someone who is able to do conversations, I had concerts already and I did interviews with somehow important people at school in front of an audience, even though I was not alone. But with long term relationships with friends and family, the autism is still coming through. Especially with Irony! I still have a hard time understanding irony. For example, if someone says "No, I am not angry!" I have a hard time believing that person. I often feel like an idiot if someone explains it to me and said it was irony but I am still getting better and better. It can also be a hard time understanding other peoples boundaries, so that is why I got the habit to ask before I want to know something, I used to cross a line very often. There are countless situation in which I thought I was fine but ended up hurting someone. This is the worst feeling! But hey, If you have autism as well, what you are reading is evidence that you are not alone with that. And please, take my advice. You should go to Behavioural Therapy and if your kids are autistic too, take them to therapy so they learn to install those "Folders" on their hard drive called brain. It helped me wonders, trust me. Sounds kinda annoying right now, doesn't it ? well... there are as well big upsides! For example, if you have high-functioning autism, (there is low-functioning autism too, but this is usually worse. It means that you have below-average IQ) you have normal or above normal IQ and have specific interests and talents. Sometimes, those may be considered as a bit unusual but hey, if you are into collecting soda cans from all around the world and know exactly where and when it was produced and what it consists of, you have already great opportunities in the job market and your hobby is totally cool. If there is someone like that reading it, I'll happily listen to hours of the history of soda cans. There are a lot of autistic people extremely good at maths, biology or Grammar and Language. I guess you call this savant? My specific interests are for example Music, and Languages. But, what is occurring as well unfortunately, you have something you are very bad at. Math is my example, but most of us don't like maths, don't we? Yea I can't do vectors and stuff but I can tell you how to say hello in Abkhaz. So: Autism is both extremely annoying and somewhat cool.