Natasha Conklin was certain she could see stars. The metaphorical kind, the kind you see when you inhale a pale death, toxins rushing through your bloodstream. The kind you get while cursing at the universe for being so perfectly flawed. The kind you see when you're madly in love with someone so awfully confusing, it causes headaches in your running mind.
The girl knew she was losing herself, becoming fragmented and splitting into mysterious contradictions. A perpetual question mark etched in her brow, eternally and devastatingly romantic. Barefoot and sundazed she allowed herself to be consumed and settled into nothingness. Interested in everything, yet oddly committed to nothing.
And Tasha swore she saw stars in the blond boy sitting with her, his arm engulfing her waist, his fingers playing with her hair as laughter rang through the sandy, salty atmosphere. They sat together, or rather, Tasha on top of Miles, as they shared a singular beach chair, listening in on the conversations of the debutantes, grinning to themselves.
"How long have you guys been together?" Natasha heard Gigi speak up as she had Nicole refill her margarita glass. She turned to look at the two expectantly, Nicole doing the same but in a rather unfriendly manner, compared to her blonde friend.
"Oh ... we're not really together. We met at the bonfire and just started talking. We've gotten to know each other really well, but nothing official yet." Tasha admitted this rather nervously, cautiously looking over at Miles, who to her relief, nodded in agreement.
"But," The boy dragged out the word as if in suspense. "It's all up to Tasha if she wants to make this serious because to be completely honest, I'm all in." Miles pressed a delicate kiss to her jawline and the debutantes cooed in admiration.
In truth, Natasha Conklin didn't know what she wanted. Because there was no denying that she and Miles were more than friends. How tightly did the two need to be pressed against one another before Natasha admitted the real reason she was so interested in him. How many times does his thumb need to brush her lips before she realized that she had gone too far with her act of jealousy. But the way Miles Monroe looked at her with glassy, lustful eyes made her heart race and stomach churn with inevitable tragedy.
Miles Monroe touched her as if she was an overripe tangerine. In the golden hour of the afternoon, his fingers grazed over the small of her back with delicate precision, tracing the constellation of birthmarks and freckles mapping over her skin. Miles Monroe drew her flesh apart with his canines, speaking silent, stardust words into the crook of her neck.
"Look who I found." Jeremiah Fisher walked down the beach to where they were sitting, none other than Cam Cameron following him. Belly stood up quickly and rushed to greet him, a large grin spread across her face. And Natasha would've smiled if she hadn't seen Conrad Fisher appear behind him. And the sweet moment was struck with melancholy, as if the ghosts of all summers past came rushing to haunt her heart.
"Hey, Cam." Natasha greeted the boy as he sat down, sending her a giddy wave. It was astonishing how quickly strangers could become so goddamn close within such a short period of time. Natasha mused about this as she sat with Miles, the rest of the group conversing about playing a drinking game.
"It's the Fourth of July, why not indulge in a little alcohol." Natasha quipped in on the decision, moving to stand from her position next to Miles, but his firm arm held her down, sending the two into a fit of laughter as the brunette struggled against his grasp. Natasha could feel eyes on her and immediately knew who it was without having to look up.
Conrad Fisher dangled on the leash of his own longing, and he resented himself for letting the girl slip so suddenly from the palms of his outstretched hands. Everything he ever wanted to say to her, he swallowed. If only he knew how much Natasha Conklin loved forgiving him. He was in her heart, a permanent place, and she suffered endlessly. His revelation sent a collision of stars, slamming into her hard, and sending her perfect reality plummeting into doubt and uncertainty. So many thoughts of, am I enough?
