Deadly Sins | Monsta X

Part 59 | The Great War

Part 59 | The Great War

The moment Anya holds the two pieces in her hand, she expects to feel relief, like mountains slipped off her shoulders. But this feeling lasts for a heartbeat only before a wave of terror and panic rushes through her.

Breathing heavily, she stares at the ripped contract in her hands, feeling her heart racing in her chest. Sounds of desperation escape her throat and she's just about to burst into hysterical weeping when suddenly she hears a loud thud. The door slams open and Kyun storms in, panic in his eyes.

In utter terror, he looks at her and the ripped contract in her hand. "What did—What have you done?"

The volume of his voice makes her flinch.
She's too terrified to speak, too overwhelmed by all this.

"What the fuck?" The demon walks around the table to her and Anya wobbles up from her chair.

"I couldn't!" she whispers and it's only now that she notices the streams of tears falling down her cheeks. "I couldn't..."

He stops and stares at her wide-eyed. Suddenly he bursts into roaring laughter. This laughter makes her skin crawl.

"You couldn't!" he laughs. "You couldn't... you fucking couldn't?"

Growling with rage, he puts his hands under the desk and the table flies through the room, crashes against the wall.

Anya yelps and the sheets of her victims' contracts sail to the ground like confetti.
Shaking with fear, she looks at him.

"Tell me why the fuck you did this!" Yelling, he darts toward her and she retreats until the wall meets her back and there's nowhere else for her to go. His broad hands seize around her cheeks and tears spark in his dark eyes. "Why, babygirl?" he asks in a pleading voice, and with his tight grip around her cheeks she's scared he might snap her neck any moment. "We were so fucking close, why?"

Bawling, she looks at him. Anya knew he'd become angry. She knew it. But she's so scared, so terrified of the consequences, and hoped he might shelter her, might find a way to comfort her. But he's making all of this even worse.

"I couldn't do it!" she cries out and pushes him away. "How the fuck was I supposed to live with this guilt? How the fuck was I supposed to keep on living the life you want me to live knowing I killed forty-three innocent people because I made the wrong decision eleven years ago! How the fuck am I supposed to forgive myself for this? And tell me, how the fuck am I supposed to live without you?"

At her last words, Kyun's jaw drops. Shaking his head, he takes a few steps back. "Did you...? Babygirl, did you do this to become part of hell—to...remain a part of me?"

It's only logical, isn't it? When the deal is done, they won't be allowed to see each other again. But when she's in hell, there's a chance. At least a tiny one. And this tiny chance that she might see him again is enough for her.  

"I can make it!" she says, walking up to him and laying her hands on his chest. "I can make it through the torture! I know I only have to survive fifty years of torture and then I'll be strong enough to come out of it and then I—"

"Only survive fifty years of torture?" he repeats and grabs her wrists. "Only? Are you listening to yourself? Babygirl, have you ever listened to me in the past months? Hell will fucking destroy you!"

"I know I can make it! I know I can!" she cries, so devastated that he doesn't believe in her strength. "You made it with love and I can do that too! My love for you is strong enough, I am strong enough! I can make—"

"You're so dumb!"

Anya flinches, yelping when he suddenly rams his fist into one of her display cabinets. The glass explodes in its frame and shatters to the ground with a deafening noise. Blood covers Kyun's knuckles and the sight of this makes her cry even harder.

"My case was one in a fucking billion!"
Again he grabs her cheeks and pulls her closer to him, a little too roughly. "Even if you make it... babygirl, the moment your transformation is completed there will be nothing of you left! All the things I love about you." Another rush of tears fills his eyes. "All your perfect imperfections, the fact that you never lost hope, that deep down you're this hopeless romantic who wants nothing more than to be loved, your sense of beauty! Your beauty! Your scent, your laughter, all the things that brought you happiness. All of this will be gone and you'll be filled with only hatred and wrath and envy!" Both crying, they look at each other as his hands slip off of her. "And there will be no space for me!" he breathes as if realization just dawned on him. "You won't still love me when this is over! You will hate me, babygirl, despise me for what I did to you! You'll blame me! You will see me the way everyone else in this world already sees me—as a monster! Someone who's not worth it..."

Vehemently, she shakes her head. "I won't! I could never! I know I can make it and maybe you can even teach me how—"

"This is not how hell works, oh my god!" he yells. "Why the fuck can't you see the danger in all this, the horror? I didn't make up all these things so you would pull through. This is real. Hell is fucking hell! Jesus Christ!"

Shaking, she stares at him as Kyun's eyes dart about her office, as though looking for something else to destroy.

"This whole year..." he growls without looking at her. "What a fucking waste of time!"

Anya's jaw drops, feeling as if someone just roundhouse-kicked her in the face.

"That is what this was to you? What I am to you?" she whispers. "A waste of time?"

Again her breathing becomes heavier and she stares at the ground, trying to not let his words come too close, try to let them ricochet. But they hurt too deeply. Unable to cope with the physical pain in her chest, she fists her hand around her hoodie, pulling it when it feels like the too-tight fabric is crushing her lungs and bends her body as a loud, agonized cry falls from her lips. Her knees meet the ground and once again she curls her body around the pain.

Kyun's hand seizes her jaw, forcing her to look up. "I fucking love you with every fiber in my body, but I have to leave now! No!" Angry, he shakes his head when she protests. "The last thing I want is to hurt you. But I will hurt you if I don't leave right now!" With these words he lets go of her.

"Kyun...please!"

But he disappears and leaves her behind on the battlefield. Crying, Anya falls to the side and curls up in a ball around the pain in her chest. Little splinters of glass fall to the ground and she covers her face with her hands, trying to understand, trying to calm down.

He left her in her worst state.

Left her in pieces.