This isn't 2023 or whatever you just said

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Deadpool x 2009 Gender neutral reader!

Early 2000s au with my favorite man with a very big uh Personality.... yeah personality lolz

Anyways my thought process is like, what if dp goes back in time on accident and needs to find out what year it is. Like 2009 or something. But he meets the prettiest little human, aka you dollies!
P.s: Your apartment is like all rooms in one, kinda like dps in the movie, except your bathroom is private, LMAO.
P.p.s: the reader is very no descriptive. Besides the fact they wear glasses!

A swirling noise fills the dark void of your open space apartment. You sit up in bed and slide your sleeping mask up on your forehead. A purple and orange hole in the abyss that is your living room. You blink the eye crusties and boogers away as you stare at it, blinking like a frog as you get used to the strange light. A red and black clad body shoots through the portal, landing on your comforter.

"WHAT THE FUCK" You shout, crawling up to your headboard. You hurry and flick on your bedside lamp to get a good look at the dead body? You don't know if the person is dead or not, but God, you didn't wanna find out. It suddenly sits up with a gasp, its head snapping towards you. It points at you.

"YOU! WHERE AM I?" The voice is masculine, so you're assuming it's a guy. I mean, you're hoping what you're assuming is right. It may be 2009, but you'd hate to misgender this stranger in your bed.

"Uh, you're in my apartment. May I ask where the fuck you came from?" You ask, leaning over and grabbing your glasses of your nightstand, slipping them on your face.

"Right, your apartment. I came from a mansion, not mine. Like a friends mansion" He explains, looking around at all your "ancient" looking belongings. "Say is it 2023?"

"Huh? 2023? No, it's 2009. Are you okay? Did you hit your head on my bed post? Like, I understand you like spawned in my apartment, but I dont think time travel is possible. doctor who" you joke, nudging your foot at him. His head whips to you.

"2009?" He asks. You nod and pull out your iPhone 3G, turning it on and showing him the date.

"Yeah. It's also 3 am. So, if you're staying, my couch pulls out into a bed. I do have to warn you, I have work at like 9 am" You tell him, getting up incase you have to pull the couch bed out. He looks over at your couch and then back at you.

"Or we could share this cozy ass bed you got yourself here." He flirts, leaning back on your bed and trying to seem seductive. You blush.

"I'll pull out the couch" you mutter, speed walking over to the couch. You bend over to grip the metal bars under the couch cushions.

"You're supposed to remove the cushions' first sugar butt" He says, standing up and walking over to you. Your face feels hot at the petname. "Its like a sleepover! All we need is movies and snacks"

"I have work, remember?" You state, picking up and throwing the couch cushions. The bed sliding out and setting itself down on the hardwood floor. He looks over at you.

"Yeah, at 9am. When did you go to bed?" He asks. You look over at him.

"Like 8pm. I was exhausted today"

"So you've had 7 hours of sleep. If we watch one movie, you'll get like 5 more hours. You'll be fine" He says, plopping his leather clad fat ass (I just had to specify that btw) on the couch bed. You think it over. You sigh.

"Fine, but we're watching catwoman. Halle Berry is gorgeous in that movie" You say, walking over to your DVD rack. You crouch down to read all the titles of movies you have. You find the movie you want and peek over your TV stand to your DVD player. You put the movie in. "Have you ever seen this movie?" You ask, walking back over to thr couch bed. Deadpool wades (HA GET IT?) over his response. The truth is he hasn't seen it in fucking forever.

"I have, but it's been a while," He answers.

"Oh yeah how long? I watched it the other day"

"About 15 years. Give or take"

"It came out 5 years ago..."

"Right right its 2009"

"Wait so you're actually from the future? Holy shit. What's life like?" You jump up and grab his shoulders.

"Technology is definitely better then what you have in this place. I'll tell ya that for free. God your phone is God awful" He jokes, smashing his hand on your face.

"Hey, that's the latest phone! I'm cool!" You shout, grabbing his wrist, trying to pull his hand off your face. He laughs. "I know we just met. But would you be able to show me what 2023 looks like?" You ask, looking into the whites of his mask.

"Uh, i don't know if it transports more then one person. But I could try." He mutters, watching the way your eyes light up.

The night ended with you falling asleep on him halfway through the movie.

LOVE YA!

LOVE YA!

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