Moon Dust | Mattheo Riddle

Chapter 20: Quidditch World Cup

October 1978

Remus wrapped his arms tighter around his partner, burying his head into the nape of his neck and not caring about the long strips of hair that fell over his face. They had both been up late, decorating, rearranging the nursery again. No matter how many times they changed it around, Sirius never seemed satisfied. It had to be perfect, absolutely perfect, he'd said.

Everything was almost ready, there was a cot in the bottom corner of the room, the one Remus and James had built together. Sirius had tried to help, but it had ended with him purposely taking away screws and bolts every now and then to wind up James so Remus had kicked him out of the room, and instead sent him off to help Lily pick up some books and toys from the store.

When it was just the two of then, James and Remus, they usually would have gotten the cot put together rather quickly, but for some reason it just didn't seem to be going right. One of the legs had been put on upside down and the bars just wouldn't seem to stay together. In a fit of frustration, Remus had thrown his screwdriver to the other side of the room and slunk down on his knees with a huff.

James looked up from the wooden beams he was twirling around and then, with a concerned look on his face, carefully started to push away any other tools lying around his friend. The bespectacled boy moved them all to the side and slunk in front of Remus, resting his hands on the scarred boy's knees.

"What is it Moony?" James whispered, voice gentle and calming. Remus lifted his head up to reveal the tears that had fallen from his eyes and James instantly wrapped his arms around his shoulders, pulling him in closer as Remus let out a sob.

James rubbed soothing circles on his back, shushing gently into his ear till Remus' breathing had softened. Then he pulled back, hands still resting on Moony's shoulders, as he tilted his head curiously. "What is it? Are you nervous?" he asked and Remus nodded, keeping his golden brown eyes locked on his friend.

"What if I can't do it, James?" he breathed. The man in question furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head a little. "Do what?"

Remus pointed around them, the room was a mess. Bits and pieces of wood and screws lay around them in patterns, and not just from the cot. There were also the baby safety gates, the changing table, boxes of car seats and high chairs lay around unopened and all waiting to be set up.

James followed his gesture and then let out a soft chuckle. "We can do it Rem, we'll even read the instructions if we need to. Pete's coming over after work as-well, I'll call Marlene, her and Dorcas can- "

"It's not the furniture," Remus sobbed, eyes tearing up even more. He kicked at the cardboard box the cot had come from, sending it falling over. James glanced over at it, wincing as the strength of the kick sent the cardboard pushing down the other boxes like dominos, causing Remus to only cry harder.

James stood up and steadied the boxes, wiping a hand over his brow with a chuckle. "Let's not take it out on the cardboard, shall we?" he hummed. Remus glanced up through his tears to glare at him and James laughed lightly, coming to sit in front of him again.

"Talk to me Moons," he exhaled.

Remus let out a strained breath and looked up to meet his gaze. "It's this, all of this. I can't even put a bloody cot together. How am I supposed to look after a child?"

James nodded encouragingly, never taking his eyes off Remus as he gestured for him to carry on. That was the thing with James, he always knew when Remus was holding back on something, when there was something else he wanted to say but didn't know how.

Remus sucked in a breath. "What if I don't know how to be a dad... I'm a fucking werewolf, what if I just don't have those instincts... What if I'm bad at it? What if I hurt it... fuck, I mean her, not it. See, she's not even born yet and I'm already doing an awful job," he cried, looking down at the ground shamefully.