Sebastian Whittaker
Growing up in a dysfunctional family, with a drug dealer for a father and a mother who withered away in the hospital due to cancer. Sebastian Whittaker has definitely had his fair share of losses in life.
He's the first person i...
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The weight of the suitcases in my hands made it challenging to navigate campus, and the curious eyes that followed my every move did absolutely nothing to ease the growing feelings of caution pooling within my chest.
I'd never been to such a large college campus before, actually, I'd never been to any college campus, but the thought of taking such a long route to the dormitory building every day after classes was enough to have me considering transferring to a local community college instead.
The attention I garnered from the rest of the students as I tried to find my dorm only made me withdraw into thoughts, desperately trying to convince myself that it was all in my head.
Maybe they were just interested in the colour of my suitcase. Whatever it was, I just had to remind myself they would forget about me as soon as I moved a few feet away from their line of sight.
I've never been fond of attention, not that I experienced it very often, but when I did, I never exactly welcomed it with open arms. There were only a few instances in my life where I found myself in the spotlight, and none of them were experiences I'd want repeated.
The first was when my mother died while giving birth to me. There's nothing more attention-grabbing than losing your mother in a hospital bed, desperately fighting for her life just to give you yours.
The second instance was my father. Since my mother's death, I had become his primary focus in life. Everything he did, from the jobs he took on to the house he bought, revolved around me and how it would make me feel.
I appreciated his love, of course I did, but I couldn't help but feel that I was holding him back. I couldn't help but think that if I had never been born and had died alongside my mom, he would have been able to move on. I couldn't help but undermine myself every time I got the chance and I never knew why.
The third time I found myself in the spotlight was throughout my three years in high school.
Dad had recently moved us out of Washington to a smaller city in Oregon so he could save better for college and downsize at the same time but as soon as I was enrolled at that school it was like everybody knew who I was. I was the first new student they had in the entire year so I heard, and I guess that was enough to garner their unwanted attention.
Moving out to California could be either the best or worst decision I have ever made in my entire eighteen years of living.
Applying to USC alone was one of the riskiest things I ever did and getting accepted exceeded my expectations beyond measure.
I had applied to schools within the state including some community colleges just in case Dad couldn't afford it but after I got into USC and saw the incredible proud smile on my Dad's face I knew I would be a fool to pass up on the opportunity.
I had come alone. Dad insisted he come with me to help me set up and get adjusted but I refused.
For one it would be a total waste of money, tuition costs were too high for him to buy a flight ticket to help me out with something I was completely capable of doing on my own. And secondly, it was bad enough that I was a week late from move-in day, I didn't want everyone to think I still needed Daddy to coddle me and send me off to college.
