A Thousand Miles and A Million Years

Chapter 12

I sigh and look threw my old drawers. I laugh gently as I find old band shirts and skinny jeans that were too short for me now. I look and check the pockets of each pair. By the end I had found about 42 dollars, two buttons, someone's phone number and a box of my favorite matches. I pocket them, leaving the phone number out. I move and run my fingers over the writing that Mark had done and I get almost a punch in the stomach of quilt and loneliness.

Really, what could be the harm of having him over again? We could, uhm, talk more? Smoke? Really anything. But I'd just be falling into his arms again. I can't give myself up that easily - I can't let the grief take hold of me and make me weak again.

I sigh and rub my face slowly, pulling a pack of cigarettes out. I put the whole pack between my teeth and open my window, grinning at the outside. I pull my pack from my mouth, still looking out the window as I pull a cancer stick out. I put it between my lips and light it as I watch a few cars pass by. I move and hoist myself up onto the rather large window sill that still had my cushions and blankets on. I look out the window and take a long drag of my cigarette and blow the smoke out towards the trees and clouds, hoping I could add to the beautiful yet smoky forms in the sky. I sigh gently and my smile fades as I see my dad's car that I call mine. For a second I flash back to when I was younger and it was almost as if I could see him bringing that thing home for the first time.

He had promised my mom something practical for us - yet he came back with this awesome fucking vintage car my mom absolutely hated. It was one of the most beautiful moments when I watched his proud smile spread across his face each time he got a compliment on it. I laugh gently as I remember his expression.

My smile fades again as the car goes back to its current state - faded and chipping paint, the headlights not the clearest things and the worn down seats you could see from up here. I sigh gently and turn my head slowly. Maybe I have my excuse to call Mark over. We could restore my Dad's car to its former glory. I know he'd love that.

As I finish my inner monologue or what the fuck ever, my phone vibrates. I sigh and shift, pulling it out of my front pocket. I move and look at the screen, bright words flashing over the screen.

From:Unknown:
'You know, you really shouldn't smoke. -Mark'

I laugh gently and save his name in my phone, looking out my window and into his. He was sitting there, emotionless as he looked at his phone in concentration. I move and quickly text him back.

To:Mark:
'You know, you really shouldn't be so attach to someone you haven't seen in years.'

He looks at his phone and I see his smirk, rolling his eyes. He looks up at me and I purposely take a long drag, blowing the smoke put towards him. He grins at me and raises an eyebrow at me before he looks down and quickly types a message to me.

From:Mark:
'God, you're so rebellious. **sarcasm**'

I laugh hard and shake my head, looking up at him. I flip him off and take another drag. Mark laughs and shakes his head. I grin and look down to reply.

To:Mark:
'Okay, I have a proposition.'

I grin and keep my head down. He laughs gently and replies.

From:Mark:
'Shoot.'

To:Mark:
'Help me restore my car.'

I look up to see him grinning. He looks out his window again and nods quickly at me. I grin and hop down, running through my house and our my door, to Mark's house quickly. He opens the door before I can knock and walks out with me.

I pull him over to my car and he helps me push it into his garage. "I have stuff to use in here."

He smiles as I nod, looking around. "Holy shit." I mumble.

He laughs and nods, looking around with me. "Let's get to work."