A Thousand Miles and A Million Years

Chapter Ten

With a final but frantic goodbye with my cafe family, Mark and I exited the small shop feeling as that we know each other much better than before.

I watch him glance to me from the corner of his eye as I brush my hair out of my face and look to him. "What?"

He shakes his head and watches his feet as he opens the door for me. "Nothing. Just, uhm, where are you staying now?"

I chew on my lip as he leans into the open car door. I move into the passengers seat and laugh rigidly. "I can't afford a hotel so probably with my mom."

He nods slowly and looks to me, his eyes scanning my face as I blush from the prolonged glance. He nods again as he shuts the door for me and jumps into the driver's seat. "I have an empty spare bedroom you're welcome to. I know family gets a little - uhm, suffocating."

I scoff lightly as I lean into the seat and close my eyes, the car starting and speeding down the road. "Mark-"

"I know, Mae. I'm an idiot." He says, using one of his hands to speak. "It's just, I have missed you beyond any words."

"I don't know if I'm ready for us to be friends again. Sorry." I say quietly as I toy with my hands I hear him sigh and nod as we pull into our neighbourhood. I look to him sadly and give in, handing him my number.

He looks to it and i see the corner of his lips pull up slightly as I look to my mother's house. I knew she wouldn't be home for a while and was thankful I would some alone time.

Mark parks in his driveway and steps out of his car, trying to open my door before I open it myself and step out, holding my heels in my hand. I look over his face, having to tilt my head up because of the couple inches he had on me.

"Thanks." I say softly before I begin to walk back to my mom's house. He seemed to mentally debate something before he reached out and grabbed my wrist.

"Mae, please come over to my house again. My mom gave it to me and doesn't live here anymore, no awkward encounters with her. Just me." He tries, looking through my eyes as I kept my wall up. I sigh and shrug.

"Maybe, Mark. But please realize what you're asking of me." I look at his hand on my wrist and he pulls it back quickly. "I need time to morn on my own."

He bites back a comment and I'm thankful as I turn and walk to my mother's house, a spare key still in my purse. I open the door and walk into the familiar scent of pumpkin spice I couldn't shake out of my head. I smile and look over the photo covered walls as I set my shoes at the door and walk to the kitchen. I look around. It had gotten messy - well, messier than my mother usually keeps it. I look through the cabinet and smile at the paint stained cup that I used to use for my brushes. I pull it out and fill it with water before I climb the stairs, hoping that my room would be the same.

I grin widely at the walls as I step into the old room. I shut the door behind me and set my water down, running my hands over the old pieces I had drawn into the wall. I looked over my Kurt Cobain painting and sigh as I touch it, all the emotions trying to flood into me again - but the thing is the emotions I had then were amplified already. I had lost someone far more meaningful to me than a lost musician who toke his life in a cabin. I wipe at my eyes as I remember my father, who had actually introduced me to Nirvana before I was born.

Fuck, this was going to be hard.