A Thousand Miles and A Million Years

Chapter Four

I sped down the highway, not paying attention to the beauty of the seasons changing like I usually would. I tried not to have my tears cloud my vision anymore than they already were as my favourite CD played. I can't believe dad is sick again. He barely made it through last time...

No, I can't let myself think like that. He'll pull through just like last time. He can beat this, I mean maybe this time they'll be able to remove the whole tumour from his lungs? We can only hope. Hope is all we have anymore.

Before I could drag myself down in my thoughts, my phone rang. I quickly grabbed it from my pocket and answered it.

"Hello?" I asked into the phone nervously.

"Hello? Mae?" I heard my dad ask weakly from the other side.

"Dad, hey! What are you doing?" I said, holding back the tears and working hard to make sure my voice didn't crack.

"I just want you to know that I love you and I'm sorry I wasn't there enough for you when you were younger." He whispered even weaker in the phone. With the words he let pass his lips, I knew that this was it. I knew this was there was no saving him this time.

"Daddy, please just hold on okay? I'm almost here, daddy, it's okay. Hold on." I cried into the phone as I saw I was only 2 exits away from the hospital he always went to.

"I love you, Mae." He said one last time before handing the phone to my mom.

"Mae?" she asked quietly from the other line.

"Mom, I'm coming as fast as I can I'll be there in five minutes." I assured her.

"Please, Mae, just hurry up." she stated quickly and quietly before hanging up.

I sped to the hospital in record breaking time before jumping from my car, barely remembering my keys, and rushing to the from desk.

"What room is Bill Brooks staying in?" I rushed out, out of breath.

"220." The kind woman said quickly, seeing my urgency. I slapped my hand on the desk, muttering a thank you before running to the elevator.

I made it to the second floor and weaves in between the nurses, doctors, and visitors until I saw the numbers '220' jumbled together beside a door. I ran in and straight to my dad, past everyone in the room. He was sprawled out in a hospital bed, my mom holding his hand in both of hers, kissing it softly and looking into his eyes before averting her gaze to me. I slid onto the opposite side of him and kneeled beside him.

He was ghastly pale and his eyes had sunken in. I knew he was sick before this, but why hadn't my mom told me this was his condition?! I watched as his head slowly turned towards me. He smiled, his small teeth barley showing as his eyes closed. I smiled back, reaching up and taking his hand in mine and bringing it to my lips a few times so he knew I was there.

"Daddy." I said quietly.

"Mae." He said through his smile. "I'm so glad your here!"

I smiled, the tears prickling my eyes and bothering me. "Me too." He slowly pulled his hand from my grip and patted my head. I laughed and put my hand on his over my head, closing my eyes and pretending that I was a child and he was comforting me after I hurt my head again. But reality hit me and he coughed up something disgusting and spit it in a bucket on the table by him. I pulled myself closer to him and kissed his cheek before pulling him into a hug.

"You know, Mae?" He started through my hair. I pulled back so I could look at him. "You were always the brightest child. You are an amazing artist and I'm so glad you brought that to your career in a practical way."

"Dad, please-" I tried, my voice strained behind the tears.

"I'm so proud of you Mae." He said before he opened his eyes and looked at me one last time before they closed again.

"Mom." I said nervously, my voice seeming distant.

"Shh, it's okay honey, he just fell asleep again." She said as she circled to my side of the bed and pulled my head into her chest. I let go of my dad's hand and I hugged her tightly.

"This can't be happening." I cried into her shirt.

"I'm so sorry." She said before a long silence filled only by our tears commenced.

"Mom?" My voice sliced through the silence.

"Yes?" She asked.

"Can I have a moment with dad please?"

"Of course." She said, standing and leavening the room, only looking back once.

I pulled a chair beside my dad's bed and pulled his hand into mine again. I wiped away some of my tears before the room got completely silent besides his heart monitor and unsteady breathing. I concentrated on listening on his breathing a bit more before revising that he must be in so much pain just trying to do something I take for granted everyday.

"Daddy," I started, watching his fragile face. "Stop making yourself hurt. Please. If it's your time to go, don't hold on if it's painful. Me and mom will be okay and I'm absolutely sure you'll make it somewhere you want to be, daddy. I love you. And if you need to let go, please let go. Don't hurt." I said, my tears punctuating my words and my voice cracking halfway through. My heart is heavy with guilt and sadness as I lay on my dad's chest in a hug for what may be the last time.