A Thousand Miles and A Million Years

Chapter Six

Everyone always thinks the worst way to invite a tragedy, such as death, is with horrible weather.

You know, you picture funerals all rainy and sad? With the grey sky rumbling while god pisses on the victims.

But let me tell you, it's so much worse when it's a beautiful day outside.

Birds chirping while the amazingly blue sky lofts over nothing but darkness on the ground. It's as if the sky is mocking your grief with its happiness and beauty and of course, you can't do jack shit to change it.

That's how it was the next day, after my father died in the hospital at 10:23 at night. The sky clear of clouds while the family just wanted to get the damn funeral over with. We already had his coffin and a spot bought in a graveyard from the last time he scared us, so we pulled a ceremony to see him off quickly. He would have wanted it that way.

Simple and quick, like everything else about him.

I was currently pulling my hair out of my face into a ponytail, my straight bangs neatly brushed and falling in my face. I huffed and walked out of the bathroom, my heels clicking on the tiles behind me while I hiked my short dress's skirt down as far as it would go. I had put on makeup because I knew my dad wouldn't want me to cry and maybe having black rims that could run if I let my emotions go would help me keep it in. I grabbed my small black clutch and keys before leaving my hotel room and walking down to my car. I kept my head down, watching myself take steps down the large hotel hallway before I was able to look up and push the elevator button. The doors opened to an empty compartment and I sighed with relief before jumping in.

The doors closed and opened again and I stepped out, watching my feet again while I headed to the lobby's front exit. I was almost out of the door when someone ran into me. I stumbled back a bit, rubbing my head before looking up and walking more swiftly towards my car with a small "Sorry." to whoever I had ran into.

"Wait!" The person called behind me. Thinking they were just pointlessly going to ask if I was okay, I just ran faster to my car.

As I sped out of the parking lot, I couldn't help but feel that voice was somewhat familiar, but not caring about anything but getting to the church on time I pushed the thoughts to the back of my head. I watched as the sun rose over the church while I scowled at how happy it seemed, ashamed that anything could be happy today. I passed the church and circled around to the back where they had extra parking few people knew about.

I pulled my key out of the ignition before throwing myself lightly against the car seat again and setting my head back. I closed my eyes while listening to the last bit of Nirvana's 'Polly'. When it finished I jumped out of the car and rushed towards the church without my purse that I didn't want right now. I pulled open the side door of the church and walked towards the front.

I found a crowd of people situating themselves in the pews with the low hums of them talking solemnly. Avoiding any sort of socialization I walked to the back of the front pew, not making any eye contact and sat in a space that was reserved for me and my mother.

While the people around me finished their conversations, I watched my hands and picked some of the black nail polish off and adjusting some of my pointless rings. When I touched the only ring that mattered to me, I felt more emotions start to well up inside me, so I set my hands in my lap while keeping my head down.

Eventually everyone filed in and the ceremony began. I didn't really pay attention to anything around me while my mother sobbed with her mother-in-law. The only time I looked up was when everything went silent and I looked up to see everyone looking at me. They must have asked me to say something. I looked at my mother and she nodded her head slowly, but pleadingly. I resisted the urge I had to sigh before I stood and slowly walked to the pedestal beside my father's lifeless body I could avoided looking at until now.