Peter
Stirring awake as I reached around for the male though I came but empty handed as I rolled over to look at the clock seeing it was just past midnight as I hummed confused before blinking my eyes of there fog as I looked over at the male who sat at his desk on his laptop. Sitting up as I figured the male would have ever woken from a night mare or just never went to bed to begin with which wasn't unusual now, standing up as I walked over and draped my arms over his shoulder making him tense and flinch away.
"It's only me..." I mumbled and he leaned back in his chair again but was still a bit tense, "why you up?..."
"Nightmare.." he muttered as he read a article about assault and I noticed he generally did want to get better but when he tried it just came back and I was just waiting for him to break since he wouldn't let me in.
"Come back to bed..." I requested.
"There no point... I won't sleep" he shrugged.
"Please..." I muttered.
"You should go back to sleep Peter... you have classes tomorrow" he stated as he brushed my hand off him as I sighed before stepping back and climbing back into bed as I had my back to him.
Closing my eyes as I heard the male sigh heavily before a soft sniffle as I rolled onto my back and watched with worried eyes as he cradled his head in his hands with his elbows propped up on the desk, all I wanted to do was take away the burden he felt.
"Lu?" I called out and he didn't respond, "come lay down please?..."
He stayed.
"Luke?"
"Peter I swear to god can you please just let me be!" He snapped at me, his voice broken from tears.
"Luke I'm just trying to help?" I spoke confused as I sat up as he stood as he walked out of the room.
"Yeah we'll you can't alright!" He yelled as I followed after him and Sam stood in his doorway confused as Luke pulled his shoes on before walking out as I stood in the living room in silence.
"You alright?" Sam soon spoke up.
"I don't know how to help him..." I sighed.
"You cant just expect him to let you in... ever time he has been vulnerable he's been hurt, Peter" he explained, "think about it, he was vulnerable around his mother and she killed herself, he was vulnerable around his father when he was a young boy and than got abused, he simply smiled at that man and than got assaulted, do you really think he feels safe? Ever?"
"He does sometimes..." I reasoned.
"Does he really? Or does he just think that he should so he makes himself belief that he's safe with you..." he stated.
"He is safe with me" I spoke confused, "I would never hurt him"
"Just because he is doesn't mean he thinks that, he bloody thinks that his father is going to break into the house and kill him when he's home alone, do you really think that would ever happen?" Sam spoke as I sat down on the couch as he joined me, "he thinks in a way no one can understand and you can't expect yourself to be able to help him when he doesn't even want to help himself... if he's going to get better he needs to want that"
"Pete?"
Looking over behind the couch seeing Lily in her onesie as she hugged her giraffe, "yea pumpkin?"
"Where's Luk?" She spoke confused as she came over, "I heard him yelling..."
"He's Uh..." I tried to think of a excuse.
"Peter beat him at Mario cart and he wasn't too happy"Sam smiled at the little girl as I picked her up.
"He always get angry when he looses" she giggled as she leaned into me.
"Come on, let's get you back to bed" I hummed as I held her up while standing as I took her back to her room as I tucked her back into her bed before walking back out as I went back to Luke's room as I sat down at his desk to see what he was actually looking at.
Why was I sexually assaulted?
Going into his search history as there was similar searches, why, how to get it out of your head, help centres, they were all there and some made me feel relieved but others made me almost want to cry.
Why do I want to die
Staring at it in disbelief before I heard the door open as I looked over seeing the male as he stared at me in almost fear, "do you want to die?" I spoke confused.
"What?" He whispered, "no of course not..."
"Luke..." I muttered as he looked at his laptop.
"Okay.. at first... but not anymore" he sniffled, "it was just so fucking terrifying that all I wanted to do was just shut it out for good... I... uh... I though that you guys would be better if I did..."
Standing up as I put a hand out but he shook his head, "please just don't touch me right now..."
"Okay..." I mumbled, "do you wanna sit outside instead?"
He nodded slightly as I pulled my jacket on as he left as I followed after, sitting down on the back porch steps, "I'm sorry for snapping... I just... when I say I don't want to lay down don't think you can convince me... makes me feel like you don't care and that my option aren't real options..."
"Yeah okay... I guess I just want to help you yet I don't know how to..." I sighed, "I hate not being able to help you..."
"I know" he muttered, "I Uh found a support group but I...."
"Do you want me to come with you?" I offered.
"Yeah... but I don't want to bother you..." he sighed.
"It's not a bother Lu... when I asked you to be my boyfriend I knew what it would take and I'm not gonna stop you from getting help and if I can help of course I will..." I smiled, "do you know when it is?"
"Monday's, Wednesday and Friday's... sometimes weekends" he explained, "afternoons.."
"Well I suppose we got our schedule filled then"
