Bound by Whispers

one

August's POV

Today was the day.

I lay motionless on my bed, gazing at the seemingly plain white ceiling, but in my mind, it was filled with a jumble of words. The scent of petrichor wafted through the air, offering a slight comfort that I sought desperately.

Somewhere in the corner, my favourite playlist played softly, its volume so low that I could barely discern the lyrics. I clutched the soft blanket tightly, though it did little to soften the hardened state of my heart. The combination of bittersweet chocolate and salty tears left an unpleasant taste in my mouth.

A knock interrupted my thoughts, but I couldn't be bothered to open the door for whoever it was. "Yes?"

"Little Miss, Mrs. Carter is asking for you."

"Okay, I'll be there in a few minutes once I finish some studying."

The walls weren't soundproof, and I wasn't allowed to lock my door. However, like the story of every other household, instead of being the accomplished, responsible, and intelligent eldest daughter, I was a failure—nothing more than a huge disappointment and a burden on this earth.

I had no studying to do, and even if I did, I couldn't bring myself to care. Theoretical pursuits held no interest for the present version of myself. Honestly, it wasn't about theory or practicality; nothing interested me, absolutely nothing, except for the guitar and novels.

Do you know that feeling when you pour all the angst you carry, all the trauma you endure, and all the things you longed for but never received into your fictional characters?

You torment them, yet simultaneously root for them, granting them what you never had, what you always yearned for—that's all I wanted to do with my life.

After swiftly tidying up my disheveled state, I changed into decent attire, meaning clothes that weren't damp with my tears. Descending the stairs, I observed the scene before me—my mother at the kitchen counter conversing with someone in her honeyed voice, while my sibling sat on the living room couch, engrossed in his books.

I didn't want him to see me like this, and I hoped he wouldn't have to endure what I had. But I knew he was going through something worse, far worse than what I had experienced.

I stood beside my mother. If an outsider observed this scene, they might conclude that she was the boss, I was some sort of maid, and the boy was probably her grandchild. Apart from the impeccable physique I had, which I attributed to my hard work at the gym, I resemble my mother in no other way. As for my brother, she adopted him seven years ago. My brother and I have a thirteen-year age gap.

"You summoned me, mother?" I said as she set her phone aside, turning toward me with the most insincere smile I had ever seen. "You'll love the news, darling."

"Let's hear the good news," I replied, certain that whatever news it was, it wouldn't be good for me. "We've been invited to the Zonas' Business Gathering. Make sure you dress elegantly."

"But I don't want to go, mother."

"You know I don't like involving myself in your affairs," I calmly stated, though anger raged within me. "Come on, darling, please. You know how important this is for your father... for our family."

There was a tinge of hurt in her voice, and for a moment, I felt the weight of guilt settle upon me. But it was fleeting. She never allowed it to linger. "Fine, this time... I'll be right beside you, always. Is that okay, darling?"

You won't be.

I wanted to utter those words aloud, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. She had said the same words last time, yet this time, it was different. I had changed, and the fear of being used no longer consumed me. However, revisiting that same place filled me with anxiety.