Why(Hausa).

Abyss of despair...

I think I'll write from my point of view for a while. I express emotions better.

Days turned into weeks, and Waleed found himself trapped in a relentless whirlwind of emotion. The night at the restaurant haunted him, a vivid memory of anger, confusion, and an abrupt exit that had left him feeling adrift. It was as if the floor had given way beneath him, and he was free-falling into an abyss of despair.

Waleed had always been the kind of person who wore his heart on his sleeve. His love for Zarah had been a beacon in his life, a source of joy, and an escape from the burdens of the world. But now, that very love had become a heavy weight, dragging him deeper into darkness with every passing day.

His anger had not subsided, but rather festered. He felt betrayed by Zarah's inability to see their love as strong enough to challenge their families. As a Muslim, and a northerner, he understood the importance of family, tradition, and the ties that bound them together. But he couldn't help feeling that love should be strong enough to overcome any obstacle.

His sleepless nights were tormented by thoughts of what could have been. He replayed the scene at the restaurant in his mind, wondering if he had pushed her too far, if his outburst had been too harsh. But beneath it all, he couldn't shake the feeling that Zarah had made a choice, and it wasn't him.

Zarah's silence only deepened Waleed's despair. She didn't try calling him or texting him. This made him lonely. He was surprised as to how he wept for her longing, though the last time he cried was when he was a child. It was as if she were slipping away, and he couldn't grasp onto her anymore. His heart ached, and his anger was tempered by a pervasive sadness.

He turned to Abid for solace, hoping that his advice could provide him with some clarity. But what he found were mixed opinions and confusing suggestions. Abid urged him to fight for what he wants, and what he believes is the best. He thought about it. But his subconscious tells that he should respect her decision and move on.

Waleed's emotions oscillated between anger and despair, and he couldn't help but feel that he was drowning in a sea of conflicting emotions. He longed for a resolution, a path forward, but he felt like a ship lost in a storm, unable to find his way.

In the midst of his turmoil, Waleed decided that he needed to speak with Zarah one more time, to have a conversation that would either provide closure or rekindle hope. He mustered the courage to text her, requesting that they meet again. He wanted to see if he still had a chance with her. Zarah refused to meet him knowing that that will bring back the old flow of emotions she fought for nearly two weeks. She texted him telling him that she would answer if he calls.
He called her and she picked. They exchanged pleasantries, before she started trying to explain why the marriage was arranged so suddenly. She hoped Waleed would understand her situation, and even though he's apart from her, she hoped that he still loves her and hopes that he won't develop hatred towards her.
" Ya Abdallah said he was my childhood crush, but I promise, I don't even remember what he looks like".

"Zarah," he began, his voice softer this time, his anger replaced by a weariness that had settled into his bones, "I can't go on like this. I need to understand, to find a way forward."

Zarah's eyes welled up with tears. "Waleed, I'm so sorry for the pain I've caused you," she whispered, her voice trembling. "But I can't bear to see my family torn apart. I can't risk losing them."

Waleed nodded, a profound sadness weighing him down. He had wanted to hear something different, a glimmer of hope that their love could overcome the obstacles. But instead, he found himself staring into the abyss of despair once more.

"You will regret this, and I want to tell you that I regret ever meeting you, loving you. Just for you to choose to leave me even though you have a choice".

"Waleed, I have no choice, you need to understand that...."

"Didn't you say that he was your childhood crush, don't give me any excuses, just say that you love him now that you have him"

"No that's not true..." she said as she heard the clicking sound of him hanging up.
"Hello, Leed please" she whispered to herself. This is the end for them, the end of their relationship. The end of her happiness.

Waleed couldn't help but also wonder if this was the end.

Despair was now his constant companion, an unwelcome shadow that clung to him, leaving him to navigate the uncertain path that lay ahead.

---

On the other hand, Zarah embraced her destiny. She would sometimes pick up her phone, contemplating on whether to call him or text him, but at last, she'll give up, emotions remained a turbulent sea, alternating between heartache and despair. She felt as though he was drowning in a storm of conflicting emotions, unable to find her bearings. The future had become a haze, an uncertain path obscured by pain and confusion.

In the midst of all this chaos, she became bitter, sad and introverted. She also losed weight and became pale. Her mother and stepmother both cared for her and checked on her time to time. She'll tell them she's okay but they both know she's not.
She doesn't even want to meet her dad, she feels like to blame him for her despair.
Her life routine was now sleeping, praying, eating and then the necessary daily chores. Her room was now her only sanctuary.

Earlier, she was informed that the guy she's about to marry is to visit her in the evening. "Her Ammi tried to make her look her best, she dressed her in a green and white fitted ankara dress which was sewed alongside 6 more weeks ago, but with all the drama, she never got to try them on. The gown was a bit loose around her shoulders and neck region. Nevertheless she looked stunning. She had not worn atamfa for long. But she hasn't forgotten how to tie her head tie, Dankwali. She tied it the kallabi style, a potion of her hair being exposed from beneath the tie.

She looked at the mirror and smiled at how beautiful she looked, before her smile faded away, she remembered that she's being dressed up for a man she doesn't love.

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