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now playing: trust issues - drake
The smell of food filled my senses as I walked into the restaurant and I started to feel nervous to see Jalen. I knew what conversation was about to take place today. I was tired of feeling like I was doing Jalen wrong because I plan on making the decision to take West seriously soon.
I walked past the hostess stand when I spotted Jalen sitting at a booth. Jalen looked up at me from his phone as I approached the table and stood up and pulled me into a hug.
I hugged him back and patted his back letting him know it was time for him to stop hugging me.
"Hey," I mumbled out already feeling awkward because I knew this probably would turn into something bad.
Jalen looked at me with a weird expression on his face.
"What?" I questioned even though I was fully aware that I was acting weird.
"Nothin' you just seem off today." He replied while sitting his phone down on the table.
I fidgeted with the silverware on the table trying to calm my nerves and I felt Jalen staring at me.
"Jalen-"
Just when I was about to end whatever me and Jalen had going on the waitress appeared and interrupted me mid-sentence.
"Hello, my name is Anna and I'll be you guys' waitress tonight. Can I get y'all started with some drinks?"
I looked at Jalen letting him order first. "I'll have a Sprite."
"I'll just have water." I replied while cracking my knuckles.
"And are y'all ready to order?" Anna asked curiously.
"No, can we have a few minutes?"
She nodded understandingly. "Yeah of course just wave me over when you're ready." She walked away and I took a few seconds to clarify my thoughts before continuing with the awkward conversation.
"So, what were you saying before she came over here?" Jalen asked, giving me his full attention.
"I don't think us talking or whatever we're doing is benefiting us."
Jalen started to nod his head slowly like he was trying to comprehend what I was saying.
"What do you mean by that?"
Be honest.
I cleared my throat before explaining what I meant. "I think you're a cool person but I have feelings for someone else." I explained feeling guilt rush over me.
Jalen leaned back in the booth and ran his hands over his face.
"Well, I'm not gonna sit here and act like I'm not fucked up about you not feeling the same way I feel for you, but I do appreciate your honesty." He replied calmly and I felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.
