Five Times Cain Ryan Was in Love and the One Time That Hardened His Heart

five. (troy hooks, pt2). '21

Troy's holiday party back in L.A. had brought them together in the best way. Although Cain went with Sierra and his brother, he stayed way past everyone leaving to help clean up. He wiped counters and combined bottles and threw all the solo cups away. He stayed even after Kayla left, and that's when he found out that Troy and Kayla broke up. The reason why?

Troy was in love with Cain the entire time. Since middle school.

Shocked when Troy crowded him against the pantry door to tell him, Cain stood there with a trash bag in his hand, beaming and unable to stop the tears from falling down his cheeks at the man's admission. He lept into Troy's big strong arms and he felt each and every butterfly resurrect in his gut. Cain kissed the man with all he had, and that night, Troy showed Cain, who had been giving so much lately, what it felt like to receive. In every sense of the word.

And when he asked Troy, bare and vulnerable, feeling high from orgasm and completely protected with that body around him, Troy said, "I will always love you, Cain Ryan."

Troy and Cain went strong for almost a year while making their long distance relationship work. Troy would eventually move to the east coast. There were plans of after-graduation baecations, the many holidays they'd spend together, and maybe getting a puppy. He finally had what he always wanted: the man of his dreams, the love that he never thought he'd get the pleasure of experiencing. His elated heart even allowed room for ethereal dreams of their wedding.

Even at his big college age, he scrawled 'Cain Hooks' in his notebook in his best cursive, took a picture of it, and set it as his lock screen. Troy would be his forever.

—

Until Cain thought it a good idea to surprise his boyfriend on his birthday. 

He flew in early, borrowed his dad's car so he could spend time running around the city to get decorations for a hotel room, bought all the flowers and the things he knew Troy would like. When he showed up to Troy's apartment to pick him up, what he heard happening on the other side of the door had him thrown. Troy brought his birthday in with a very loud nut, and of course Cain recognized Kayla Smith's voice begging him to go deeper.

The feeling punched into him immediately; the grand slam that shattered his heart in his chest. Troy knocked it out of the park—an automatic home run. In that moment, Cain Ryan felt a culmination of embarrassment and fury and longing rise up in his spirit. He snapped. Popped like a broken rubber band that didn't even know it had been stretched too thin. 

Cain turned on his heel and considered disappearing on Troy like he did to Aaron, but the idea was fleeting. Gone were the days of accepting pain and keeping the hurricane within. Cain went straight for the first destructive thing he could find. Whether it be a lug wrench, the keys, or he had to open the hood and yank out a damn spark plug. 

The back door revealed the perfect extension of his revenge. A baseball bat. With his rage whirling around him like a storm, Cain gave Troy Hooks a taste of his own medicine and bashed in each and every window of his car. Then drove back home in silence, blocking him on everything.

It's always something. Whether he is too dark-skinned, not white, too gay or not a girl, it's always something.

That's fine. 

Cain had officially learned his lesson.

All of you niggas can mean absolutely fucking nothing.