Make it like it was:

Part 18

It's not what I think;

We got through the holidays, we spent them in Paris with Rex and his family, he invited all of my family, we had a great time in Paris, Parker dressed up like Santa Claus for the kids, Jeff sat on his lap too mom said he's acting naughty. Paris is for lovers, and I lived here without one, but I don't think I'd like to live there  again, unless Dex wanted to, I'll live anywhere with him. 

We just brought in the new year's, with family and friends. I did start writing again, I'm writing a children's book called the adventures of chewy the wonder pup, I watch little Dex with chewy and I write about there adventures.

We don't go to marriage counseling anymore, but I still go to therapy for myself, I found out that I had more to deal with in my life besides being with the wrong people to punish me. I remembered what my Aunt Brenda did to me as a child the only time Mike and I stayed with her, she took me out of the bed, and she kind of molested me, she put something in my behind and said this is what happens to sick people. I never told my parents what she did to me, I blocked that out, and it all came back to me when she died, right before Thanksgiving. I didn't go to her funeral, I had to realize I did nothing wrong by being who I am, she's the sick one for doing what she did to me. 

That's why I'm still in therapy, I did share this with my family, mom said if she wasn't already dead, she'd kill her, I told mom it's over with and I'm getting help so that even in her death she won't have power over me. Mike said he's sorry he didn't stop her, he saw her take me out of bed, but he had no idea what she was going to do to me, I told him he was a kid himself he couldn't have known. He said still he should've protected me; I told him he's done that all of my life, and I thank him for that, but I have to deal with this on my own.

Mom said she was sick, I told her I'm ready to heal from it and I'm not letting the past mess up my future. Because I have Dex and little D in my life, and yes, I shared that with him, I won't hide anything from him. Marcelo said good for me, he can't wait until, but he cut off what he was going to say, I asked him he can't wait for what?

Marco, I can't tell you, just wait you'll see what I'm talking about soon, remember good things come to those who wait.

Marcelo, you're my brother and we don't keep anything from each other, please tell me, he said he promised Dex he wouldn't say anything, I said so Dex is a part of it, now he has to tell me, he said no, and he has to go he got up and rushed out the door. I wonder if Mike knows, he probably won't tell me either if he promised Dex, and if they know mom probably knows too.

Now who can I get to tell me what's going on? I looked out the window and little D is out playing with chewy; I wonder if he knows, I went out there and played with him, I told him how about we go into the house and have ice cream, he said okay. I told him we have his favorite chocolate, he said yay, he likes chocolate, we went into the house, and I got the ice cream, Bell came in the kitchen and asked me why I am giving little Dex ice cream so close to dinner time.

I told her he's just going to have one scoop, she said I spoil him, just this once he can have some, I got the ice cream, and gave it to him, I asked him where he and his daddy went the other day, he said to the park. I asked him anywhere else. He said they went over his daddy's friend's house, and he told his daddy he can move in in two weeks.

Bell said little Dex probably misunderstood, why would Dex be moving in with someone, she walked out of the kitchen, I asked Dex is he sure that's what the person said, he said yeah, I did ask him is his daddy's friend a man or a lady he said a man, and he shook his hand and they left.

Bell came back in the kitchen, and I walked out, what's going on and my family knows and won't tell me, and why is Dex moving, maybe little Dex didn't get it right, but Dex has been acting funny for the last few weeks. He gets phone calls and leaves the room, shit maybe he's cheating on me and this is his way of punishing me for what I did, maybe he never forgave me.