Make it like it was:

A fresh start; Part 14

Not what I thought it would be.

I'm lying in bed thinking about Marco, we meet with our counselor for the first time, today I really want this to work out, I want him back, but it has to be better than when he left, I saw the door opening slowly. I knew it was little D, no doubt Bell opened the door for him since he can't reach the doorknob. I closed my eyes as if I'm still asleep, he came into the room and said daddy get up, he climbed on the bed and shook me.

I opened my eyes, he asked me am I happy, I told him yes because I have a little boy named Dexter, he said that's him, he said he's happy too we're both happy. I told him yes, we are, he said he loves me, I told him I love him too, he pulled my arm and said I got to get out of bed so we can pray. I told him OKAY I got up and we went to the end of the bed, D told me to talk to God.

I told him we can both talk to God, he said I talk and he talk too, I guess he means I talk and he'll repeat what I say, so I said dear God thank you for waking me up, D said him too, I said thank you for little D and my brothers and the rest of my family and friends, he said and Bell too, I said yeah her too. He said thank God for his daddy and nanna Mary, and Uncle Rex and Parker, and thanks for his puppy amen. I said Dex you don't have a puppy, he said I could buy him one, again he said love you daddy.

Dexter started singing, I'm blessed better than blessed praise the lord, I asked him how he knows that song, he said wait daddy he's not finished with his song, I let him finish.

He said I'm blessed better than blessed praised the lord, I may not have houses and wealth, I may not have all of my strength and health, but I'm blessed thank you lord I didn't have no shoes, but I saw a man with no feet to use I'm blessed thank you lord.

He said now he's finished now I can ask him; I couldn't help but laugh out of the mouths of babes, I asked him again how he knows that song, D said they sing it in church when he goes with Bell and nanna Mary, I need to go to so I can be blessed too. I told him he's right, but I bet he didn't know that's my mommy's favorite song too, she went to church too, he said I had a mommy, I told him yes, but she went home to be with the lord. D said did my mommy give me a puppy, I said Uncle Rex had a puppy, he said I should get him a puppy so he can bless him with a little boy praised the lord. I just looked at him and smiled, thinking only two people could've told him to ask me to buy him a pup, and that's Rex who he talked to last week and Parker who keeps asking me to get D a puppy. I knew Bell didn't tell him to ask me that, Dex said Uncle Rex come in here now, Rex came in and said buy the boy a puppy.

I forgot he was coming here today, he told little D to come downstairs with him they'll get breakfast, and I can think about buying my son a puppy they left the room, so little D got Rex to open the door Rex told him what to say and he knew I would give in if he sang mom's favorite song, I'll get him a puppy.

I went into the bathroom and took a shower, and dried off, I brushed my teeth and looked at myself in the mirror, I look good, but I'd look better with my man standing beside me, I started singing, I'm blessed better than blessed praised the lord, now that song is in my head. I got dressed and went downstairs, I asked Bell where everybody is she said they ate, and Rex took little D outback to play I know Rex is just a big kid too. She told me to sit down and eat, and am I going to the office today, I told her no I have another appointment with Marco, she said good. I should've been gone to counseling, damn is there anything in this house she doesn't know, she told me to watch my mouth Rex already has little Dex saying words he shouldn't be.

Bell said she'll get my breakfast I sat down, and looked at the morning paper she came back with my plate singing that song I'm blessed, I told her she doesn't have to butter me up I'm going to get little D the puppy, she said good a boy needs a puppy but I'm going to be the one to walk it she left the room.