Strong Body, Fragile Hearts

Her Gardener, Loving

Ellie's POV

Last Chapter...

I was in shock, the gardens were awfully maintained, all the beds were in disarray. I put a hand to my mouth as tears began to slide down my face. What have I done? I thought. As I rounded the corner, I found Finni, sitting in the exact spot where our picnic had been.

Finni didn't turn around as I walked forward, terrified of what he would say to me. I had been so awful to him, awful enough to cause him to destroy his lovely garden. Could he ever forgive me? I sank to my knees directly behind him. "Finni?" I said tremulously. He didn't turn around and my heart sank. I knew he wouldn't forgive me.

I took a deep breath and tears began to roll down my face. It was over, I told myself. I would apologize and then I would get out of his life, leave him to pick up the mess, no disaster, I had left behind. I continued speaking. " I'm so sorry... I'm so, so sorry. I can only hope to convey my shame to you so that you will understand, that Joker tricked me. I never should've doubted you and at the very least I should've allowed you to defend yourself properly." I took another shuddering breath. "I love you. I know that I have caused you so much misery and tragedy and I would be surprised if you wanted anything to do with me after all I have done and if you did not hate me, but... I do love you with all my heart. I'm sorry, Goodbye Finni." I rose and turned to go to leave him with whatever peace he may have had left, when I felt a hand on my wrist. I turned my head to see Finni standing beside me, holding me there with him. "I could never hate you." Finni looked at me and his eyes were as wide and as expressive as ever. I looked into them and saw only love.

"It hurt Ellie, I won't deny that. It hurt watching you walk away from me both times, but hate you for that? Never. I love you, only you. I would never do anything to hurt you. If what you had truly wanted was for me to walk away, I would have left you without another word." Tears cascaded down my face. I turned my face away and spoke, "But, everything I did, I was so awful to you. I knew better than that. I should have had more faith in you." I then dissolved into sobs. Finni pulled me into his arms and held me as I cried. "Joker was your friend. You had absolute trust in him and he abused it. That was not your fault, don't cry Ellie, don't cry."

Through my sobs, I managed to get out, " Your flowers, my fault." Finni laughed and smiled at me. "Ellie, they are just flowers, don't cry for them. I love you far more than any flower I ever grew." My tears began to slow and I looked up at him. Finni tilted my chin up and kissed me. I threaded my hands behind his neck and kissed him even harder. He broke away and wiped away my leftover tears.

I pressed my face into his warm chest and felt his arms go around me as we sank to the ground and I sighed with happiness. Here in his arms I felt safe. I felt protected and I felt loved. I wanted nothing more than to remain there but something stirred within my consciousness.

"Finni, where would Joker have gotten though pictures and why would he have tried to tear us apart? He liked you when he first met you correct?" I was at a loss. Joker was methodical, he wouldn't try to break us apart without good reason but I couldn't find any reason to grasp at. "I wish I knew why Ellie but I have no idea." Finni tried to calm me but I was becoming vexed with this problem.

"It bothers me and I refuse to let him try to tear us apart again," I said, rising from my seated position. Finni scrambled up beside me and followed me as I strode to the cart. "Where are you going Ellie?" Finni asked and I could see he was beginning to panic. I turned and placed one of my hands to his face. "Calm down Finni, I'm not leaving forever but this is going to drive me mad if I don't just go confront Joker and find out why he did this and where he found those photos." Finni looked uneasy with my decision to go and confront Joker but differed to me his reasoning being that, I knew Joker better than he and if I was sure he wouldn't hurt me then he would allow me to go alone.

Finni drove me back to the circus' lot and helped me off the cart. I smiled and pressed a kiss onto his cheek, causing him to blush a beet red. "I'll be fine Finni, go and fix the garden, for me please?" I pleaded with him. He nodded and mounted the cart and drove away. I waved to him as he left then squared my shoulders and headed for the first stringers tent, and one person's tent in particular. Joker's.

++++++++++++++++++

I stepped into Joker's tent and let the tent flaps close with a resounding slap. "Bells?" Joker looked up from some paperwork and stood with a smile. "You're looking a better today, feeling better?" he said smiling a charming smile. I decided to get right to the point. "Yes Joker, I'm doing much better now. In fact I went to see Finni today. The funny thing was, he claimed that he had never seen those pictures before."

Joker flinched, it was tiny, but it was there. Only if you knew someone knew him as I knew the ringmaster would have picked up on it. He didn't miss a beat however plunging into yet another lie. "Well I hope you didn't believe him Bells, who can you trust if you can't trust your family?" I replied in an instant, "How indeed except I have information from a member of our happy little family that you were seen with those photographs before you came to the manor that night. So Joker who indeed do I trust? The answer is most certainly not you!" I screamed the last part of my tangent at him and watched his eyes widen and his hands grip the table behind him. "So I have a few questions for you Joker, if you could deign to answer them truthfully for me." I spat at him my hands trembling with fury. "Where did you get those photographs? I never, ever told anyone here except for Doll about my past I don't believe she would betray me to you. Why did you try to break up Finni and I? There was no reason to!" I questioned him furiously, desperate for some sort of answer to justify his actions to me.

I was about to scream at him some more when I felt something hard and heavy hit the back of head. I collapsed and watched with half lidded eyes as Peter moved around to the front of me. When he saw my eyes were still open his eyes hardened to an almost fanatical gleam and he hit me with what I thought was a board again. Everything went black.