Strong Body, Fragile Hearts

Her Gardener, Determined

Ellie's POV

I was a walking corpse. I never smiled, never laughed. Not even getting my cast off and being able to practice again could force me to smile. All I could see every time I closed my eyes was Finni and his heartbroken and lost expression. His betrayal was so great though, I could never forgive him. Right? That was the thing though. I didn't know. So I locked my swirl of thoughts in the back of my mind and became determined not to focus on them.

I stumbled into the main tent, rubbing my eyes. I hadn't been sleeping very well, I was always dreaming about Finni, so I had fallen asleep over my breakfast. "Bells!" Dagger waved me over, gesturing to the three people in front of him. I gave him a weak smile then turned my attention to the two men and boy in front of me. One had brown hair, glasses and green eyes, the other had black hair, and brown eyes. The boy had navy hair and an eye patch. I turned my attention to Joker who had walked over. "New second stringers?" I asked avoiding his eye contact. I wasn't sure where my situation was with Joker was either. We hadn't spoken of what happened with Finni and I didn't plan for us to. "If they can prove themselves." Joker asked though I could feel his saddened and concerned gaze upon me. I turned to the brown haired man and said, "Come with me. I will show you around and put you through your paces." I turned around and stalked off. I didn't want the man with the black hair, he unnerved me, and his gaze was too intense. Additionally, I did not want the boy. I had yet to recover from my last encounter with a boy of that age and I was unsure I ever would. Therefore, I took the brown haired man. "What is your name?" I asked as we came to the bottom of the tightrope pole.

"William T. Spears." I nodded then shook my head, "That will never do. It is far too long." I pursed my lips in thought. "How about Suit? You do look rather dapper." Suit nodded then looked up at the rope. I begin to scale the giant structure with Suit behind me. When reached the top, I gestured to the rope. "Which would you prefer? The tight rope, or the trapeze?" Suit looked at both then pushed his glasses up. "I believe I can do both." I gaped at him. A newbie picking the trapeze was unusual. I nodded then grabbed a safety rope. I tied it around his waist and gestured for him to begin. He stepped onto the rope and performed so many tricks, I thought my eyes would come out of their sockets. "Now for the trapeze?" He said, once again pushing up his glasses. I could only nod, flabbergasted. I had never seen such skill. He would rise to a first stronger in no time. I retrieved the trapeze and he grabbed onto it and off he flew. He was a skilled as Wendy! He finished his demonstration and landed right next to me. "You, you, your in." I stuttered then motioned for him to go find Joker. I wanted a little bit of time to myself.

Suit nodded then climbed down the ladder. I sank to my knees, leaning against the pole. Suit's display of agility and strength reminded me of my own fate, and of Finni. I remembered the day I had been taken too well.

I was 3, maybe 4, and sitting in a wooden chair, watching my mother cook. I remember her smile, like the sun emerging from behind the clouds. A man comes in. I play with my dolls, remaining quiet as the man and Mama argue. Then I hear Mama tell me to go to the other room. She looks angry and I wonder if I'm in trouble then she takes a breath, and smiles at me, the last smile of hers I will ever see. I smile back then wing down from the chair and go to the other room. I hear noises and Mama screams. I run back into the other room to find the man on top of Mama, hurting her. Her face is blank and she is limp in his arms. I scream and run towards Mama, then I am caught. I was knocked out and everything went black. I woke up in a lab strapped to a table. Men are standing around me, one holding a needle. I whimper, I hate shots. The men scoff at me and one says, "Brat, you should be honored, one day you will be the most flexible being ever to roam this earth!" I don't understand and I begin to cry. As the monsters inject me I scream, it burns like hellfire!

I snap myself out of the flash of the past to hear a bellowing below me. I peeped over the side then stared in shock. Finni?

He was here? He had come? Why? The questions echoed relentlessly in my head. Then I took full notice of the situation. Finni was here, and he was currently about to rip the pole, which was both used in tight rope walking and trapeze, along with a key structural support. Eyes widening, I scrambled down the ladder, if only to stop him from bringing the tent down on top of us.

When I reached the bottom, I approached him, then gasped. He looked awful, his eyes had bags underneath them and his eyes were bloodshot and red. He looked like he had lived in hell in the past few days. I could feel the internal fight within myself. One part of me urged to run to him and cry, to hold him close again, if only for another moment.

The other part of me despised him for that picture and wanted to send him away, watch him suffer like I had, and feel the betrayal I had felt when I saw that picture. The rest of me was just confused, hurt, and betrayed. I hardened my voice, asking Finni, "What are you doing here?" If only I could harden my heart with the same ease. "I came-"He paused and caught his breath, he had clearly been running. "I came to see you and to explain." I sniffled, my eyes beginning to tear. It was hard to merely be only in his presence. The noise was not unnoticed by him and his face filled with pain and heartache. "Those photos weren't mine, I had never seen them before, I was just blindsided, and that's why I never said anything." He fixed his beautiful blue orbs upon my own and I felt my heart clench. He moved to grab my hand and I took a step away from him. He hand was still outstretched and his expression was too much too bear.

I felt the tears begin to slip out of my eyes. "That makes so much despite the fact they were found in YOUR shed." I practically screamed at him, trying and failing to remain calm. I began to cry in earnest. Finni tensed and his hand twitched like he wanted to hold me but he made no move, which only made me cry harder. "Why was Joker in my shed? Why would he be poking around in my things? Think about it Ellie..." I stopped crying when he used my real name. It had been so long since anyone had said it. Finni turned to leave then looked back at me and said a foreign emotion in his voice, "I might leave now Ellie, but I'm not giving up on you and I am never giving up on us." With that statement he strode over to where I was standing and grasped my chin, forcing my eyes, still flowing with tears to look into his eyes that were moist and filled with so much pain.

My eyelids fluttered shut as he placed a kiss on both of my eyes and murmured, "Never cry sweet Ellie, don't cry." Then he placed a soft, chaste, kiss on my lips and pressed a flower into my hand and whispered, "It is lavender." Then he was gone. I fell to my knees, tears running down my face. He never even said goodbye. All he left me with was my lovely lavender rose.

Finni's POV

I rubbed the back of my hand across my over flowing eyes and hurried on back to the manor. Only to be halted by Doll. "Here Finni." She handed me a handkerchief. I wiped my eyes and thanked her. "Wait, I want to help you!" She said, causing me to pause and look at her. "I believe you and Bells belong together, I can give her things from you if you get them to me and take this pass, I know Joker took the one Bells gave you from you. It will allow you to get in to see her." I felt some hope rise, having an inside ally would definitely help my cause. "Alright, thank you Doll." I whispered and gave her a weak smile. She smiled back and let me leave. I wondered what Ellie would do now, but it was time to proceed, onto the next phase of the plan Bard, Mey-Rin, and I had come up with.