Chapter 20

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Leonora Williams

I looked down at Kenny as he laid in my arms, I was sitting on Niall's couch watching Frozen. Kenny loved Olaf and he loves snow but since he was so sick, he wouldn't be allowed to play out in it. 

I didn't want this for him, not that any parent would, but he deserved better. I mean, it wasn't easy to have a teenage mother, but to get cancer from his piece of shit father? No. He was screwed over.

I smoothed his hair as he continued to sleep, "I'm so sorry baby. This is my fault. I shouldn't have followed him into my bedroom." I paused, "But then I wouldn't have had you. I would be stuck back in the states and I wouldn't have met Niall. But you wouldn't be suffering. I wish I could take it all away from you. Make you healthy. I'll be sick so you can be healthy."

I felt him snuggle closer to me, I closed my eyes. Tears burned at my eyes.

The front door opened, Niall came through, a grin on his face. Then he saw Kenny, then my face. "Are you-"

I shook my head. Niall came over and scooped up the frail little boy and walked down the hall. I closed my eyes again, what was I going to do?

Kenny deserved everything, he deserved better but yet he is a five year old boy with lung cancer.

I felt someone touch my arm, I opened my eyes to see Niall standing there. He pulled me to my feet and we walked out to the balcony that had a table and chairs.

"Nora?" He said as we sat down.

I shook my head as I looked out to the city, "I'm scared."

"Why? Tell me what's going on."

I sighed as more tears welled up, "When we were at the hospital-" my voice cracked. "Philip, his doctor, said that-t."

I shook my head again, the words I was about to say would change everything, tears started falling, "Kenny's cancer, it's-s, oh god." I started to cry.

Niall grabbed me and pressed me close to him, "Nora? What did he say?"

I could hear the fear in his voice, I pulled back and looked at me, "He don't know what happened. They thought the cells were shrinking but-" I closed my eyes, "They weren't. They multiplied. Niall, his cancer is terminal."

Niall Horan

Terminal. I refuse to believe it. I couldn't. "No." I felt the tears.

"Niall, there's nothing left." She looked away.

I stood up and kicked the chair, Nora jumped. "Fuck! No. This can't be it. This isn't how things were suppose to be for him."

"You don't think I know that?" Nora cried, "You don't think that I asked the doctors to find ways to fix this? You don't think that I have tried everything to help him? You don't know what I've done to keep him alive as long as possible. I prayed to God every damn night to not take my son away from me-" Her voice went soft, "But it didn't work. The doctor said he has four months. Four months for me to hold him, to love him, to give him all I can. Four months to cram ninety years of life into a five year old. Niall, I won't be able to watch him get married, to take him fishing, watch him play football or whatever sport he wants, see him off to prom, or any of that. My baby is dying. I have never wanted to believe that. But Niall," Tears fell, "my baby. He won't live. He won't grow. He won't see all the world. He won't see me anymore."

I grabbed her and squeezed her as she sobbed. My tears stained her sweater.

"This wasn't part of the plan." She sobbed.

A tap came to the glass door, we turned to see Kenny dressed in Dr. Seuss pajamas, clutching onto the hat from the first day I met him.

Nora wiped her eyes and opened the door, "Kenny what's wrong?"

"I hurt." He pointed to his frail chest. Nora sniffed, "I know baby. I know. But one day, you won't be in pain."

He smiled and dropped the hat and placed both of his palms to her face, "I love you mommy."

I had to look away to stop crying.

"I love you more." I heard her say. "Niall?"

I turned to see Kenny in Nora's arms. "Yes?"

"Why you crying?" Kenny asked.

I took his small hand in mine, "Someone close to me received very bad news."

He made a small smile, "No news is bad. You make it bad."

I closed my eyes, "You're right. But I think this is bad."

"It will be better soon."

A/n: hm. Well. Not only did I bawl while writing this, I hate myself for this. I hope you all- I can't say liked because terminal cancer is something that no one ever likes to hear.

But I hope you all live life to the absolute fullest. Love you.

Xoxo

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