Kimochi Warui

In Sickness

"I feel sick". Barely a whisper.

The two children lay parallel to one another, supine, motionless. Numb. Then, slowly, the world began to come into focus, sensory detail fading in like an image on a polaroid photograph. The sand. The red-tinted sky. The gentle thunder of the waves of LCL licking at the shore. Time did not move, and neither did Shinji. Asuka was alive. No thanks to him, of course. But she was alive. It seemed strange to him that he was not overcome with guilt, immobilized with the salient, visceral shame that had left him broken beneath a metal staircase. Because of that guilt, Misato died. Asuka too. He could admit that to himself, he noted. It didn't hurt anymore. Or maybe he just couldn't feel it anymore. Gently, Shinji rose to his feet. Asuka, noticing his movement, sat up gingerly. Not looking at one another, they watched the horizon, knowing they had all the time in the world.

After an hour, Asuka spoke again. "I'm going home." She waited for a response.
"Me too."

They did not talk at all during their walk to Misato's apartment. The cold blood scent of the beach had begun to fade by the time they arrived at the complex. It was still standing, but not by much. The top three stories littered the street in the form of blocks of concrete and twisted rebar. Shinji walked towards the front entryway, but before he could reach it, the glass shattered and the double doors swung open. A wave of orange liquid hit the two children with the force of a shotgun blast. When it was over, Shinji lay on his hands and knees, hacking and coughing at the all-too-familiar scent of LCL burning his nose and throat. Then, the liquid receded to about their ankles, and all was quiet again.
Shinji looked behind him, at Asuka. She was sitting in the LCL, crying softly.
"My mother's in here."
"What?"
"Not my real mother. Not Mama. But...Oh, god...Ritsuko...Toji..."
Holding back tears, she let the LCL leak through her fingers. It was thicker than water. Thicker than oil. Blood. That was perfect, in a way. The Third Child waited, his face neutral. Asuka stood up. The LCL was cold, and the passing wind caused her to shiver.
"Let's get inside".

The electricity was out, unsurprisingly. The LCL continued to flow out of the buildings in the surrounding block as more windows in more buildings burst from the built-up pressure, eventually flooding the street, but it didn't matter. The children could breathe while they were submerged in the liquid through processes the NERV scientists and technicians had never bothered to explain. At about the third floor, they breached the surface. As soon as his feet thudded against the staircase, muscle memory took over and he was standing at the door to Misato's apartment. Gently, he opened the door.

"I'm home", he whispered, fighting back tears.

The sun had set, but the LCL, the moon, and the head of Lilith lying despondent in the Red Sea seemed to produce their own light. The apartment was dark, but it was warm, so, without a word, the two children made their beds and went to sleep.