Kelly is celebrating her fortieth birthday and is on a one-woman mission to sort out her love life...
But first and foremost, she must deal with an attraction to the world's worst man, another ferocious crush on a completely unavailable man, and a...
Was wondering if you'd be up for another training session?
Nate had sent the message a couple of days before. Kelly hadn't responded, partly because she wasn't sure if her body could handle it and partly because she couldn't she work out what she thought of Nate.
On the one hand, she now found him far more attractive. When she thought of him now, she found it hard to believe she'd dismissed him at first. Those attentive eyes, the way his face changed so much when he smiled. The refreshing honesty and the way he didn't skirt around anything the way most folks did.
On the other hand, he clearly wasn't that into her, so why waste her time?
Then, late on Wednesday afternoon just as she was putting the finishing touches to scripts and storyboards for some films she was planning to shoot with Leon's help the following week, he phoned her.
"Kelly, I hear you stepped in and stopped my daughter from bein' arrested the other week."
She leant back in her chair, the small of her back protesting having been hunched over for the past three hours. "I don't think she was going to be arrested."
He harrumphed. "No' what I heard. She didnae tell me, mind. Her brother clyped on her after she telt him. That she and her wee boyfriend got intae a fight wi' some guy who willnae acknowledge he's the boy's dad, and they argued with security?"
Nate appeared to know the full story. While Kelly would rather not have been punched, at least the little episode had finally driven the nail into the coffin of any lingering desire she felt for Mark. You didn't need a DNA test to tell the boy was his, and no wonder he looked so like Nell's husband, Daniel, seeing as Daniel and Mark were so alike.
"Your daughter's very principled," she said, hoping that the soothing words would help ease any tension between father and daughter.
"Principled, and now grounded," he replied. "Until she's at least twenty-one. Forty, if I have any say in it."
Kelly winced in sympathy. Her mother had doled out the same punishment countless times when she was a teenager. In American TV shows, grounded girls and boys shinned their way down drainpipes or handily placed stepladders. Impossible to do if you grew up in a tenth-floor flat.
"That was awfy good o' you," Nate added. He swallowed and cleared his throat. "Eh... how about I take you out for lunch on Friday? As a thank you. Only if you're no' busy. And if you want to."
Kelly removed the phone from her ear and stared at it. Well, this was both unexpected and, judging by the way the corners of her mouth poked upwards stretching her lips into a wide grin, very welcome.
No point getting excited, she reminded herself. It was only a thank-you thing. But the thrill sprang up of its own accord.
"That would be lovely. Where do you think we should go?"
"If you're fine wi' Thai food, there's this great wee Thai place on Sauchiehall Street. I've a couple o' clients in the morning, but I could meet you at two?"
Arrangements agreed, she hung up, gazing into space for a while, a dreamy expression on her face. Okay, so Nate might not view it as a date, but he'd sounded sweetly nervous when he asked her. As if he was scared that she'd say 'no' and he'd make a twat of himself.
Idly, she drew out the band of her yoga pants and inspected her bikini line. Oof. Firmly in 'au naturel' overgrown bush territory, forcing her to recall remember the lines she'd read in a naff self-help book (and subsequently tossed aside).
Ladies, want to stop yourself sleeping with someone too soon? DO NOT shave your legs or touch your bikini line for the first, second, third, fourth, fifth or sixth times before going out with a guy.
Six is the magic number. After that, you'll know if he is SERIOUS about you, COMMITTED to you, and not an arsehole in general. Sure, you might have a fabulous time on dates one through to five, but Yeti-like legs coupled with a hairy fu-fu will preventing you diving into the sack with him too quickly at the end of the night!
Oh boy. There were plenty of problematic things to unpack in those paragraphs, not the least of which was whether women should live up to patriarchal norms of hair-to-skin ratios on female bodies, but Kelly dialled Adrienne's number nevertheless.
"'Lo! Adrienne. Beautician to the stars! You've tried the rest, now try the best!"
Kelly rolled her eyes. The last time they'd met up, she'd advised Adrienne to come up with a punchy tagline. Adrienne had no celebrity clientele, as far as she knew. Kelly had suggested something less cheesy, but Adrienne sounded as if she believed her own hype, so maybe it worked.
"Hey, I was wondering... could you fit me in for some waxing on Thursday? Legs, underarms, bikini." She ran her fingers over her upper lip. "Tache, too?"
"Totes can, babe! Tell you what, I've got this new super-sensitive wax that doesnae hurt a bit. D'you want the Hollywood?"
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