High Heels & Pink Glitter (the heavily edited version)

Pure green evil

Ryan waited outside Erin's school. She'd messaged him earlier that day, a cool, casual, do you want to hang out?, query that almost caused him to drop his newly repaired phone. He'd punched the air while Cocoa barked her approval as he danced around Tadgh's flat.

Following the invitation, he'd spent the next two hours pondering what to wear, what things he could drop into conversations that would make him appear far more sophisticated and worldly-wise than he was and undertaking an emergency dash to the Boots on Dumbarton Road to buy spot cream and concealer.

A bell rang, and slowly but surely pupils dressed in that distinctive blue blazer/tartan skirts or blue trousers uniform filed out of the gate and towards the range rovers and SUVs that awaited them.

"Hey!" Erin had appeared in front of him before he'd spotted her. The skirt seemed shorter than the previous time he'd seen her in it, and she'd removed the school tie and undone the top two buttons of her shirt, flashing a bit of pink lacy bra, and his wretched face flooded with heat once again.

Erin didn't appear to notice. The friendly smile faded, and she locked her gaze on his. "Ryan, can you... do me a ginormous favour? Like, mega, mega, mega big."

She darted a glance behind her. A group advanced towards them. Five girls Erin's age, one of them, tall, thin and tanned, her shiny, waist-length blonde hair rippling in the breeze, loudly discussing a party at Sebastian's, due to take place at the weekend.

"...so Adrian's going, and Liam, Toby as well. Toby's going to get us some gear because his father knows everyone in Glasgow, I mean everyone, and I for one, can't wait. Coke is the absolute greatest! Did you know that if you analyse every single twenty-pound note in Glasgow, you'll find traces of the stuff because they've all been rolled up to snort coke!"

Ryan, who hadn't snorted coke for real, but recognised lying bravado when he heard it, sniggered. "Aye, sure."

The girl came to a standstill, glaring at him. Her acolytes gathered around. He hadn't thought his comment audible. Next to him, Erin whispered, "That wasn't the favour I was going to ask, but cool. Keep going."

Unsure of what she wanted him to do, Ryan settled on an elaborate shrug. Tadgh liked obscure indie flicks, and a line from one of them settled itself into his brain. "Coke's for tossers wi' more money than sense. Speed's the better drug," he asserted. Blonde girl's acolytes regarded him seriously, all of them taking a step back from their self-appointed leader.

The next line he adlibbed. "Anyway, posh girl. Your mummy and daddy would never let you anywhere near coke. If you've ever done anythin' more than a wee sip o' wine, I'm a Dutchman."

Shock froze the girl's face for a few seconds, as her friends retreated that little bit more, waiting for her to rebut what Ryan had said.

"Oh, shut up!" she yelled eventually, before storming off. The four friends exchanged glances, two of them conversing in whispers, before they too left the scene.

Erin clasped her hands together. "Oh my God, that was amazing. Thank you so, so much!"

"Is that what you wanted me to do?" he asked, unable to believe that insulting a group of mean girls made her so pleased.

Erin fiddled with a strand of her hair. "Look, I know it sounds stupid. But those girls they... they're always getting at me. Joking about my dad because he doesn't have a big car or house or make loads of money. There's this big party at Seb's house on Saturday night that I'm not invited to, so now they talk about it every time they walk past me. Charlotte, she was the one who was speaking, is Seb's girlfriend and she was winding me up earlier, going on and on about how none of the guys in our year fancy me."