Ember James

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I've always known that I had cancer in my DNA

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I've always known that I had cancer in my DNA.

Dad always said that I didn't have to worry. He said that, as long as he was there, he would protect me...protect me from any harm that might try to get me. I was ten at the time, and I knew nothing of the world so it was easy to believe my father could protect me.

Now that I'm seventeen, I know how cruel the world can be...and how loving it can be at the same time.

My brother and I never had any symptoms of cancer, and I hope we never do have cancer, but I know that probably won't be likely...

"Miss O'Connor," my teacher, Mrs. Higgins, shouts at me. "If I see you on that phone again, it will be detention for you!"

"Yes, Mrs. Higgins." I mumble back, not wanting any attention on me.

At home, The Boys run wild around the house in their underwear, pushing and shoving me around like we were playing bumper cars.

"Watch it! Stop, you guys!!" I kept shouting at them, but it was useless. They didn't care.

After a while, I decided to put on my running clothes and run to Mother's grave. It's my usual thing I do. I always put on my comfortable running clothing, run around the neighborhood, and then end up stopping at Mother's grave to talk to her. It's how I keep myself together. If I didn't, I would fall apart and.... okay, Ember James. Stay calm.

After throwing on my running clothes - a green crop top sweater, a pair of black leggings, and a pair of old white and black tennis shoes- and grabbing my phone, I threw my hair up into a ponytail and ran to the front door.

"I'm leaving, if anyone cares!!" I shout out to anybody who cares.

When nobody answered, I opened the front door and left.

The afternoon air felt good, even though it was hot. I checked my phone to see what time it was. 5:30. Okay, dad will be home in an hour or so, and my step mom will be home in two hours or so...so that gives me three hours to go on a run and visit Mother's grave before they decide to cook dinner.

I slow when I see the spot Mother was buried. She was buried in the spot she dreamed to be buried at...on a hill that has a beautiful view of the little river below.

I sat down beside her grave. For a minute, I didn't say anything, I just stared out at the other graves.

"Hey, Mother!" I say, looking up at the sky and the clouds. "How are you today? I miss you...so much.... Today was just like everyday. I went to school, came home, The Boys were running around in nothing, and then I needed to talk to you...."

I talked to her for a while, letting every thought and memory spill out of my mouth like she was really there, listening to me. And maybe she is listening to me... listening to me ramble on and on about my daily problems and crushes on boys and other things. Or maybe she isn't, and I'm just talking to thin air like we've been besties for life.... I believe she is listening to me.

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