The White Widow

Chapter 8

Natasha didn't move when she heard her bedroom door open, nor did she respond when Clint peered in and whispered her name.

"Natasha, it's been three weeks. You can't stay locked up in your  room. Please." His voice was soft, but Natasha could telI he was worried.

Everybody was worried. At first, everybody was scared. Natasha went on a ruthless killing spree. Anybody with any information or connection to the Red Room was tracked down and tortured by the Black Widow. Natasha was falling apart, and Clint was scared. Other than bursts of pure rage, Natasha was cold and emotionless. 

What made Clint the most nervous was that Natasha still violently killed those who provided leads or information to the Red Room. Part of him was confused. He met Natasha after she lost Yelena the first time, but she was calm, collected, and stable. Now? All he saw was a widow.

Clint followed Natasha on every lead, big or small. Natasha was desperate to find her baby sister, but she was failing and losing hope for each passing day.

By the end of the second week into her search or spree, depending on how you viewed her actions, Natasha was devastated. She had spent 14 days and 14 nights searching, torturing and killing, and she was no closer to finding Yelena. Nobody even knew or heard of her name. Natasha eventually burnt out and stayed in bed for a week straight until Clint finally came looking for her.

"Natasha," He tried again. "You can't give up."

Against her better judgment, Natasha rolled over and faced Clint. Her eyes were bloodshot and wet. She'd been crying recently. That's all she really did since she lost Yelena.

Natasha glared when she saw a look of pity in Clint's eyes.

"Why shouldn't I?" Natasha snapped. "What's the point? To bring home a body?!"

She was yelling now, and Clint made no move to answer or interrupt her. She needed this. She's been bottling up her emotions for far too long. Clint closed the door as she stood, throwing the blankets off herself.

"I should've been there, Clint!" Her voice slightly breaking. "I was supposed to protect her! I promised!"

"This isn't your fault, Natasha." Clint said as he took several careful steps towards Natasha, who backed away. They did this dance a few times until Natasha's back was flush against a wall.

"No! It is! I'm her big sister and I let them take her again! I let him take her again!" Natasha cried as she roughly shoved him away, but Clint knew she needed support even if she didn't know how to accept it.

Natasha was slowly losing the last bit of control she had, and she was cruising towards an emotional crash. Clint tentatively stepped back into her Natasha's space. She forcibly grabbed the collar of Clint's shirt to keep him at arms length, afraid to let him get close.

Clint kept trying to get closer to Natasha, but each slight movement would cause her to harshly hold him in place. For a while, Clint stayed still, but Natasha still treated him as a threat. Her eyes were wild, and it unsettled him deeply, but she was his friend, and she needed him, though she wouldn't admit it.

Eventually, Clint slowly lifted his arms and began moving them around Natasha. Briefly, she fought back. Going between holding his collar, shoving his hands away, and weakily punching his chest.

Moments pass. Clint's arms are still in the air, surrounding Natasha as if giving her an air hug. Their eyes never broke contact as they shared a tense moment, both waiting for the other to move. And then, something changed in Natasha's eyes, and she bowed her head. Clint didn't dare move. Finally, Natasha's legs gave away beneath her, and she was quickly scooped up into Clint's arms.

Clint held her as she broke. He had never heard Natasha wail and sob at all, let alone this hard, and it was scary. She was the strong one, the bold one of the two, but now, Clint had to be. Natasha stopped fighting Clint and allowed herself to be held. The pair swayed side to side as Clint whispered soothing words into Nat's ear.

Natasha was putting a lot of trust in the archer. She never let anyone hold her like this. Except Yelena, of course. The thought of her little sister sent her over the edge, and Natasha cried again. She has cried more this month than she has her entire life, and she hated it. Natasha hated showing signs of weakness, but here she was, in Clint's arms sobbing.

"The point, Natasha." Natasha jumped as Clint's voice broke the silence.

She looked at him, bewildered for a moment, but quickly remembered her angry rants from earlier.

"The point, " He repeated. "Is that Yelena would never rest until she found you and brought you home. She wouldn't give up on you."

A stray tear slid down her cheek at his words. He was right.

"You owe her that. Even if it is just a body." His soft hands guided her eyes to his. "It'll be her body."

Clint almost regretted his words as all emotion fell from her face. Natasha abruptly stood up on surprisingly sturdy legs. She shot a curt nod at Clint, mumbled a 'thanks', and left the room.

"Bottling up your emotions won't help anyone, Nat." Clint stated as he caught up to her.

"And neither will feeling them." Natasha snapped back. Clint shook his head but didn't argue. It was a losing battle to argue with the redhead. Instead, both agents continued in silence.

Soon, the pair stood in front of Maria's office, and without knocking, Natasha stormed in. Maria was surprised at Natasha's bold behavior but decided to entertain the two.

"Yes, Agent Romanoff?" Maria asked as she continued doing paperwork.

"I need clearance for Red Room missions." Natasha requested.

Maria's eyes snapped up at those words. She glanced between her agents. Clint, having not said a word yet, tensed when Maria's eyes settled on him.

"So is this?" She gestured lamely to Natasha. "Your doing?"

"Um... Unintentionally?" Clint responded.

Maria nodded and turned her attention back to Natasha, whose eyes never left her. "No."

"Okay."

Clint and Maria shared a look of disbelief. They both fully expected Natasha to fight back, not to relent so easily.

"What do you mean 'okay' ?" Maria questioned.

"Yeah. I'm with Maria. You never agree without argument." Clint agreed.

"I never said I agreed." Natasha said ominously.

"Back to what I said. What does 'Okay' mean?" Maria asked, growing impatient and nervous.

Natasha smirked as she met Maria's eyes.

"I'll do it myself."