UNDERCURRENTS(GxG)

Chapter 35- Ignored

Chapter 35

Tumawag ako sa driver ni mom, at nagpasundo ako kahit malayo layo ang byahe, kasi for sure, sasabay na naman ako sa sasakyan ni Freya.  At hindi ko muna siya kayang harapin for the next few days.  Wala lang akong choice kasi professor ko pa rin siya, at makikita at makikita ko siya lagi. 

Pero kung patuloy akong lalapit sakanya, I don't think I can move on fast.  I know my self-worth and I don't deserve this kind of uncertainty.  Yung mga sinabi niya, tama naman siya eh.  This is so wrong.

But I never thought that those few words would hurt so much.  So much that it breaks my heart.

After ko mag eemote sa tabing dagat kanina, hindi muna ako bumalik ng suite.  Tumambay lang ako sa coffee shop na malapit sa steakhouse. I was gazing out at the mesmerizing sea view that usually brought me not comfort, but sadness.  Dapat masisiyahan ako sa view pero lalo lang masarap mag emote kapag ganito kaganda yung view.

Nagmemessage sa akin si Aya and Blair dahil nagbabalak silang mag scuba diving and parasailing mamaya.  Wala akong nirereplyan sa mga message nila.  Ni isa wala. 

Kahit si mom ay nagtatanong kung bakit nagpapasundo agad ako, gabi pa kasi yung paalam ko sakanya.  Sinabi ko nalang na masama pakiramdam ko.  Nagmemessage din sa akin si Dylan kanina pa, birthday niya kasi ngayon, he was asking kung pupunta ba ako.  Pero inbox zoned lang siya sa akin. 

Ayoko lang muna bumalik sa hotel dahil namamaga pa yung mata ko kakaiyak kanina.  Ngayon, parang naubos na lahat ng luha ko.  Umorder lang ako ng favorite coffee ko habang nag eemote pero wala ng luha this time.  Sa ganda kong to, di ko deserve na mag iiyak lang dahil sa iisang tao ng paulit ulit. 

I was scrolling through my IG posts, ang dami na naman new followers and likes.  Dami dami rin nag memessage, yung iba pa nga mga famous influencers, just trying to get my attention.  Pero eto ako ngayon, nagpapakatanga sa isang tao.

I looked into my coffee, and now my cup was half empty, much like the emotions that had been draining from my soul. I lowered my head, trying to find solace in the table's surface, my thoughts consumed by the complicated situation with Miss Freya.

Just as I felt myself sinking deeper into despair, I noticed a hand cautiously extending a platter of cinnamon rolls towards me. I turned my head, my eyes meeting the warm, compassionate gaze of Aya. She was smiling gently at me, and for a brief moment, the world didn't feel so lonely.

Somehow, nabawasan ng kaunti yung lungkot ko ng makita ko siya.  Aya is an angel. In that simple act of offering a cinnamon roll and that genuine smile, I felt a glimmer of hope.  If I had the power to just control my feelings, I would just divert my feelings to her.  But unfortunately, I can't. 

"Hey, Kayla," she said softly. "I thought you might want a little sweetness to brighten your day."  Umupo ito sa tapat ko.  Kahit may ngiti sa mga labi niya, napansin ko na nag-aalala ito habang nakatitig sa mata ko.  Siguro napansin niya din na umiyak ako. "You've been crying, right?"

Nag-iwas ako ng tingin, ayokong aminin pero obvious na obvious naman.  Kaya hindi nalang ako sumagot. 

"Blair was also looking for you.  She was worried as well.  May problema ba?  You know I'm always ready to listen.  I am your friend"

I managed to smile a little bit, kinuha ko ang cinnamon roll at saka sinimulang tikman iyon.  Wala akong balak kumain sana, pero since binigay sa akin ni Aya, of course, naappreciate ko yun.  "Thanks for this, Aya"

"Anything for you, Kayla.  And if you're too tired to talk, or not yet ready, it's fine.  Just let me sit here with you.  I hope my presence is enough to let you know that I'm just here.  Down for you always" she was smiling as she said those words but I can feel her sadness.  Gaya ng lungkot na nararamdaman ko ngayon.