Hunger [H.S]

October (part 3)

Frankie couldn't find rest that night. Her mind was churning with thoughts and images of Andy and the hateful way he had looked at her; like she was pure and utter garbage. She sat up in bed, her knees pulled up, so she could lean her head on them. Harry was asleep next to her. He was laying on his side, his chest bare and rhythmically moving with deep breaths. He was so beautiful and good; a kindhearted, gentle man. She loved him so much, but sitting there in the middle of the night, worrying about some deranged individual's opinion of her, she feared she didn't deserve someone like Harry. 

She remembered the way Benjamin from High School had looked at her, when the other boys from class laughed at him, because he had kissed her, when he was drunk. The shame Benjamin had felt because he kissed Fat Frankie Evans, the biggest girl in school. What if Harry one day felt that shame? Something about her had caused Andy to become so angry and hostile, that he had turned against her. She had brought the monster out in him. He had been doing fine until she started volunteering at the shelter, but as always Fat Frankie Evans ruined things for others. She caused chaos just by being her. 

"Frankie, are you okay?" Harry's voice woke her. She must have drifted off sitting in bed, her head resting on her knees. She rubbed her eyes and looked at Harry, who sat up next to her. 

"Are you okay, love?" He asked again, his voice deep and sleepy. 

She smiled weakly at him and nodded. He raised an eyebrow, obviously not believing her. 

"I feel guilty." She said in a small voice. "Like I caused this just by being me." A tear ran down her cheek and landed on her knee. Her eyes followed the tear dripping down her leg, until a new one landed on the other knee. 

Harry put his arm around her, and leaned against her. "Can you elaborate?" He asked calmly and comfortingly. 

"In High School a boy kissed me at a party. Afterwards everyone laughed at him, because it was me he kissed. He had a really hard time because of me. Same goes for Andy. He was getting better, but I barged into his life and somehow tempted him. It's like I ruin things for people. I'm scared I'll ruin things for you too." She sniffled and bit her lip.

Harry gently turned her face and looked at her, his eyes were warm and kind. "My love, people can be horrible towards each other, and you've had some really shit experiences. You are radiant, but you dim your own shine, and you don't need to. You are beautiful and kind. I'm the luckiest guy in the world that you allow me to be close to you. I love you so much, and nothing is going to change that."

He pulled her into his arms and leaned back, so she could rest her head on his chest. She sniffled for a while, but in the end she fell asleep, feeling loved and safe.

***

Frankie woke to a message from Sally, who asked her to come down to the shelter, if she had the time. Something had happened down there, and they needed her to come down. Frankie asked Harry to go with her, and he was happy to. They drove down to the shelter, and were met by a terrible sight. Part of the building had burnt down. Frankie's heart started hammering in her chest, and she hurried out the car and ran towards Sally and Gary, who were standing out in front of the building talking to a couple of police officers. 

Gary grabbed Frankie and hugged her. "There was a fire. Luckily they got here fast. The reception and the office is basically gone, but it didn't make it to the kennels. The animals are fine, honey. Don't worry," he held her at an arm's length and looked at her. "Okay?" He said, making sure she understood that things were under control. 

Frankie nodded and tried to control her breathing. Harry put his arm around her, and calmed her down. "Do they know what happened?" He asked Gary. 

Gary looked grief-stricken looking towards the shelter. "It happened while we were at the fundraiser. They think Andy ..." He trailed off and sniffled. Harry patted his shoulder and gave him a sympathetic look.