Hunger [H.S]

November (part 4)

The album dropped everywhere at midnight, and there was a big screen showing the number of streams the album got. It was like watching the trading screens on the stock market. Numbers were rolling on the screen, a constantly changing real-time view of how many times Harry's new album was being streamed, purchased and played. The first ten minutes people had their eyes on the screen, following the numbers like a football match, but as the numbers just kept rolling on at super-speed, people started dancing and drinking instead, toasting to Harry and his success. 

Frankie had a glass of champagne in her hands, as she stood mesmerised by the numbers rolling over the big screen. It was obvious that, once again, his album was a hit. Even though it had been out for less than an hour, it had already surpassed the numbers of his previous album in the same time slot. It was impressive how quickly everything went. The songs he had been playing on his acoustic guitar in bed at night, while she would lie and listen to his beautiful lyrics, were now out in the world and belonged to everyone. 

Her thoughts were interrupted by Harry's hand on her lower back. "Where did you go?" He asked and kissed her cheek. 

She smiled and shook her head. "In my head for a moment. Weird place, can't recommend." 

Harry chuckled and pulled her closer. "What are you thinking about?" 

"Two hours ago the album was yours, with the exception of the few of us, who had heard some of the songs in advance. Now it belongs to the world." Frankie sipped her glass of champagne not really enjoying it, but someone had handed it to her, and she felt like she couldn't decline it. 

Harry seemed to ponder over her comment. "Is that a bad thing?" 

"It's not a bad thing, no. But it's like somehow you belong to the world now. Like you've just put a piece of you out there, and we can't take it back." Frankie wasn't sure if she made sense at all, or if it was just in her head it made sense. 

Harry took her hand and led her to the hallway leading to the toilets, so they could talk. "Try and elaborate, love." 

Frankie leaned up against the wall. "I'm being silly, Harry. Don't worry about it. It's just this feeling of melancholy that's poking its ugly face out." 

"I don't think it's silly, Frankie. What are you scared of?" Harry leaned over her, so close that his scent took over her senses. 

She drew in her breath. "I'm not scared. It's just new, isn't it? You've been on a break most of the time we've known each other, I haven't been forced to share you as much with the world, as I have to now." 

"You don't share me with the world, Frankie. My music is shared with the world. But me - I'm right here." He put his hand on her chest, right on top of her heart. "All of that," he gestured towards the crowded room full of people and loud music, "that's not me. It's not us. And those numbers on the board just means that I get to share my music. It doesn't take me away from you." 

Frankie felt bad. She knew very well that he was committed to her and what they had together, but there was this eerie feeling in the back of her head. A feeling that he would be whisked away from her, and she wouldn't be able to hold onto him, even if they promised each other that they would. 

"Frankie? Get out of your head, you're brewing something in there that's freaking you out," Harry leaned even closer to her, his lips just centimetres from hers. 

Frankie bit her bottom lip, and blinked a tear from her eye that trailed down her cheek, and landed on her chest. Harry looked worried, and he drew back to look at her. She shut her eyes, and took a deep breath. 

"I'm sorry, Harry. This is a big night for you. I didn't mean to make things weird." She opened her eyes and tried to put on a smile, but it wasn't reaching her eyes. Harry knew her too well to buy her act.