One Girl, One Oni - Two Idiots

The Sloth - Akira

If there was someone in Inazuma who would win the prize of the deepest sleeper and loudest snore of them all, Itto was more than certain that Akira would win the prize by a landslide. Even if he would love to get that price and win, winning is always nice after all, he doesn’t really stand a chance against Akira. He hated to admit it but defeat would knock on the door before he knew it. So he wouldn’t even dare to make an attempt at defeating the Sloth of the gang. 

Now, the title wasn’t meant as an insult. Akira’s a cool dude, a bro, a homie. He knows how to have fun while also knowing how to devour ten ramen bowls in five minutes. He’s one of the guys! He just manages to live up to the title as a sloth. Because whenever off the clock, or whenever the chance presents itself really, Akira can be found devouring or drooling over food or sleeping close by. That’s just how he rolls! Nothing wrong with that! In fact that makes Akira the perfect man for the job. No one’s a better food critique than he is? Why? Because the oni had gotten a little bored so he decided to mix a few things together resulting in a dish only he could make! However, it had to taste good and Akira had surely a trustworthy opinion.

When it came to finding the sloth of a guy it wasn’t too hard. Just follow the loud snoring in the small room and you won’t miss him. It may as well have filled the small room, to say the least, being the only noise accepted in this crowded space. How did it not start to shake yet or cause an earthquake? Who knew! But details. The sleepy head’s not gonna sleep much longer than this.

The tall male walked over to the source of the noise, spotting a male dressed like a classic Inazuman samurai with a pointy, round hat covering his eyes at the very moment. His mouth still showed itself of course, opening wide and closing a few moments later, the snoring becoming all too audible. On top of that the male was on the wider side, one could hardly believe that he could throw a fist properly. But that’s Akira for you, looks can be deceiving sometimes. But not this time, not when he’s with the bros. 

The oni got closer, kneeling down to come somewhat to face with the male, or rather close to his ear. He then grabbed the human’s shoulders and suddenly… Shook him, just like that.

“Ey, Akira! Dude! Wake up! I need a favor from ya!” He even yelled as he kept shaking the sleeping man a few times. This one didn’t budge, at least not right now. Itto noticed and was used to this so he continued to shake the guy a few more times and continued to almost yell into his ear. “Dude! it’s urgent! Wake up! I need your help right now! Wake up! I said wake up! Bro! My dude! My man! Buddy!” 

And a few more words in. The oni nearly talked his own throat dry at that point, or so it felt like, before Akira decided to lift his body up, his own hat nearly falling off from his own sudden movement, his eyes having shot very wide open.

“Wha— I—” He let out all of a sudden before turning a little to the side to spot Itto right next to him, a tight grip on the shoulders while staring him down. The slothy dude looked as if he was still half asleep and perhaps he was. At least he wasn’t someone who got all grumpy while waking up or being shook awake. 

“Boss? You’re back?” He asked, slightly mumbling which then had been followed by a yawn. “Isn’t it a little early?”

“Yeah yeah I know, we’re meeting a bit later but whatever. Not why I’m here.” Itto responded quickly, then shrugging that part off just as fast as he had said it. “Listen, I need your super honest opinion on something. It’s very, very important! Ya can do that for me?”

“Opinion? Boss, it’s you we’re talking about. I’m sure it awesome either—”

“Yeah yeah I know! I still wanna know what you think!”

“Uh… Maybe some other—”

“Oh c’mon! As if you've ever said no to a snack before.”

There was the magic word, it dropped from one moment to the next and made the human male wide awake all of a sudden. Yeah Itto knows how to handle his boys. Hence why he’s the boss. He wasn’t lying though, not in the slightest.

“Snack?” Akira repeated, trying not to sound too eager yet it was written all over his face. 

“You betcha! And best of all, it’s been made by Yours Truly!” With the usual boost of confidence Itto would finally present what he had been talking about, revealing at first glance an ordinary bread in his hands. But it was not ordinary, of course it wasn’t. If you take a closer look at it, the filling of the bread was perhaps a little unusual. It wasn’t a classic filling at least. Oh no, the idea had hit the oni in a sudden rush of inspiration. Cook up some classic yakisoba, no big deal. But stuffing some mixed yakisoba between two bread buns? Talk about revolutionary! Of course only he could get such ideas!

Akira must have been taken aback just as much, given that he was staying all silent and had his gaze right at the bread. He never saw that before, did he? Hah, of course not! It’s a creation by yours truly after all! 

“So? What’cha say? Already looking pretty tasty, huh?” Itto continued talking, the cocky and overconfident tone in his own voice not disappearing. “If I gotta give it a name… Hmm… Let’s call it Way Of The Strong! Yes, of course! It’ll fill ya up in a swiffy while turning you into a strong beast! Second to me of course! So so, you’re dying to try it! Don’t ya?”

A moment of silence from Akira’s part who had been facing the bread for a little longer. The oni had no idea what was up with this long silence yet would get his answer once the human male faced him, with… What’s with that look? Bad news?

“Uhm… Boss…” He began slowly, nearly stuttering. “I don’t know how to tell you this but…”

“What? Ya think it stinks? Dude, at least take a bite! It can’t smell that—”

“Oh no no! It smells delicious and I’d be honored to try out your cooking! It’s just—”

“Just what? C’mon, what’s up? Ya got to say some—”

“That’s yakisoba bread.”

A moment of silence had kicked in. Yakisoba… Bread? “Whaddya mean? Ok, it’s bread with yakisoba filling but—”

“Boss, what I mean is that people have been making these for years now. You can even buy them at some stores or food stalls.” The sentence was straightforward, a little blunt even. While Akira had first hesitated he soon got the courage to just flat out say it, making Itto stare back for a good few seconds as the world was crashing down on him. So wait… This wasn’t a revolutionary idea? 

“They what?”

“Yeah. I had some just the other day. They’re pretty good. You should try some too. Let me re—”

“You say that people thought about putting yakisoba into bread before?”

“Uhm… Yes?”

It didn’t sit right with Itto, not really. Had he just been beaten to the punch by some rando a few years ago? Guh… He didn’t like that type of defeat at all! It’s rubbing him the wrong way, very wrong even! In that case…

“Hah! So what!? Bet they can’t make it as delicious as I can!” He suddenly yelled, trying to save his own face somewhat. “Try it anyway! I… Added special ingredients which get ya going! Yeah! Bet those breads can’t do that for ya!”

“Huh? You didn’t say that be—”

“I don’t have to say it! So c’mon dude! Try it! Actually, you take that and I’ll go make some more for the rest of the gang! They gotta try it too!”

And just like that Itto had gotten ahead of himself, he knew that somewhat yet didn’t care by then. Akira looked a little worried at his own Boss, even when finally taking a bite of the original Arataki creation! 

Looks like Itto has to change the recipe to make this more unique. Yakisoba bread… Urgh… 

But that’s where Akira comes in. Because without the dude things like these would easily slip the oni’s mind. After all, the dude may as well be the food expert in the group, given how much he’s devouring. The sloth’s an expert at such things!