I don't feel that I'm not good enough to love. I know I'm worthy of love, I always have. But the demons from my past have a way of creeping back into my life every now and then. Trauma I once felt I completely healed from plays peak-a-boo without even asking if I wanted to play. I should have known. I should have known that opening myself up to loving again would be opening myself up to pain again. I told myself I would be fearless in how I show love.. Fearless! Not in any sense like... Him. Not in any sense like them... Afraid. The love is there but the pain lingers in the back of my mind.. I would hate for it to taint my heart. I don't want to hold back in how I show love, I don't want to be held back by pain.. But pain makes it hard not to be afraid. Choosing you every single day means that I have to choose to be brave every single day. I cannot be afraid. Fear will ruin us. Fear will change me. But... the question remains, "My love can I truly trust you?"
