Notice Me - Choi Beomgyu

Seventeen

"Gosh, watch your step, Ji-an!" Shrieked a terrified Eunjeong, who was playing an episode of Music Bank on the living room television. "If you break my collection of figurines I'll actually kill you."

Na-ri turned her head from the big screen in the midst of singing along to Twice's 'What is Love'. "Remember you're responsible for cooking dinner tonight, and if you set this place on fire I'd be screwed, no, we'd all be screwed, including yourself," then added, "what are  you watching on your phone?"

"Probably texting someone." Eunjeong quickly remarked. "And by the looks of it, it seems more like a guy."

"Does our Lee Ji-an have a boyfriend and not tell us?" Nari squealed excitedly. "Who's the lucky guy--"

"I'm talking to a bunch of moots on Discord, not a boyfriend, okay." Jian quickly changed her tab on her phone and showed her two roommates her TXT Discord server chat group, pointing at the bottom of the page which indicated heaps of netizens furiously typing. "We're discussing our thoughts on the latest comeback and the world tour."

"Ew, that's a lot of English." Eunjeong furrowed her eyebrows, much to the girls' laughter. "Alright, finish up your texting, quickly make dinner and we can finish watching season two of Stranger Things while we eat."

Phew, that was a close call. "Alright!" She put her phone back in her pocket and started preparing the rice for dinner.

If truth be told, Jian was not on Discord, but rather texting Choi Beomgyu nonstop on their private Instagram accounts for the past few days. Though TXT was on the last leg of preparations for their upcoming world tour, Act: Lovesick, their opening act in Seoul being the next day, Beomgyu had always managed to find time to reply to Jian's text messages. They always found something to discuss about.

As the enticing aroma of Chinese-style steamed pampano fish, tomatoes with fried eggs and vegetables started wafting through the air thirty minutes later, it mingled with the palpable atmosphere of anticipation that enveloped the cozy apartment. The gentle sizzle of the hot oil and the fragrant blend of ginger, garlic, and soy sauce created a symphony of flavours in the kitchen, a symphony that mirrored the symphony of emotions swirling within her.

Around the dining table, Eunjeong and Nari then chattered excitedly about TWICE member Nayeon's recent solo debut. Their anticipation mirrored her own, but for a different reason entirely. While they eagerly awaited the culinary delight Jian had prepared -- it wasn't every day they got to eat home-cooked Chinese food -- her mind was far away, consumed by thoughts of him, of the connection they shared, and of the messages that had become the lifeline of their budding relationship, conversations that traversed the boundaries of time and distance.

Jian deftly arranged the fish and vegetables on the plates, and filled the colour-coded bowls with hot, steamed rice. For a few seconds, she stole glances at her phone, which lay silently beside her. 

"Thank you for the food!"

"It smells so nice, oh my goodness. Your father's side of the family would be proud."

"Especially the fish -- you have to teach us the recipe one day!"

The sounds of laughter and conversation from her roommates about Nari's newfound 'crush' on character Steve Harrington became distant echoes as she daydreamed about his next reply. Would it be a playful remark, teasing and lighthearted? Or perhaps a deeper message expressing the uncertainties he had on TXT's concert? There were numerous possibilities in which he would reply, and she found herself staying afloat its unforeseeable waters, eagerly awaiting the arrival of his next text.

As the aroma intensified, so did her anticipation. Though she was fully aware how busy he was in final preparation and tech rehearsals at the stadium for the tour and she didn't blame him for prioritising his work, each passing second felt like an eternity. It was as if time itself had conspired to stretch out the moments between his messages. 

She was reaching for any reason to text him again, a follow-up message, asking whether he had dinner yet, for instance. She imagined him on the other side of the screen, maybe going through a dance sequence once more, or getting his microphone checked for him to practice his 'speeches' to the audience. The thought of him taking a break from the chaos of band rehearsals to reply to my messages suddenly filled her with a sense of warmth and longing.

"It's starting!! Woohooo!!"

Eunjeong and Nari's voices blended with the background soundtrack of 'Stranger Things', which played on the big screen before us. It was one of her favourite Netflix shows, captivating and intriguing. As she watched the characters on the big screen navigate their own mysterious realm, Jian couldn't help but wonder what he was doing, yet again.

Wait, what?

She wasn't supposed to think about her idols all the time. Even more so that 'Stranger Things' was on. Why can't she concentrate watching it, especially when she and her high school friends in the States literally had the biggest crush on the show's characters when it first aired in 2016-

Does that mean I have a crush on Choi Beomgyu?

Hahahaha! Must've been a hyperbole.

The delicate flavours of the steamed fish danced on her tongue as she took a bite, momentarily grounding her in the present. 

"How do I say that in English again? Ah, 'handsome'." She heard Nari say, pointing at the screen. As Jian glanced at her two roommates engrossed in the TV show, a wistful smile tugged at the corners of her lips. Once upon a time, she too had been enamoured by the thrilling storylines, the nostalgic '80s vibes, and yes, even the charming characters that had sparked a teenage crush within her. But now, as she sat there, her mind consumed by other thoughts, the allure of the show had lost its brilliance. Her 'Stranger Things' phase was officially 'over', so to speak.

Wait... what if it's not a hyperbole, yet a fact. Do I have to search on Google for 'does he like me' quizzes like a pathetic thirteen year-old teenage girl who had just seen a random cute guy in the school corridors? 

Jian had crushes on multiple Asian boys at her school in the past, and she had dated several male classmates while she was still a high school student in America; with her longest relationship lasting for a year and a month before a friend of hers caught him selling cannabis to a group of fifteen year-old girls. While the consumption of the drug was legal in her state, it unethical in her perspective, and she broke off the relationship soon after.

But this one was different. 

Choi Beomgyu wasn't a nobody who could deal with drugs on the black market in his spare time without anyone recognising him. He was a public figure, and even worse, an idol from one of the most famous idol groups in K-pop's fourth generation, as well as an artist under one of the biggest entertainment labels. Everyone knew who he was, especially the media.

And with that, Lee Jian knew that she was officially screwed.