Carpe Diem ; YGᨀJM

──── 13. What We Left Behind

That mysterious boy who seemed to be almost his same height avoided looking at him. Agust could only see his back and his slender figure that rejected his contact; the boy tried to get up and see his face under the moon, but he stopped feeling the warmth of his hand immediately.

— Please, don't touch me...

His voice could barely be heard over the wind and the boy tried to walk away. Agust didn't want to force him to stay, but on the other hand, he felt that it would be a long time before they would see each other again.

Chang-bin's groan made him remember that he was hurt. He immediately went to help him and tried to lift him up, but when he turned around, the mysterious boy was gone...

— You almost chased that boy while I finished bleeding out. — He finished claiming with a serious expression.

It took a while until the boy was able to lie down in a comfortable place with his wound better treated. If it weren't for Agust, he might have died. He watched while the black-haired boy smoked a cigarette and looked at the stars with melancholy, Agust D remembered it as an intense flame that could illuminate any dark corner of his mind. 

As he looked at the stars, he let his thoughts take him back to those moments. Memories flooded into his mind, images of what happened when they met at that party and shared more than just words. But, at the same time, there was an unbridgeable distance that kept the mysterious boy out of reach. The feeling of not being able to fully understand the other, of not being able to decipher the enigma that was the presence that remained unknown to him.

He sighed as he stared at the stars, wondering if the mysterious boy was also looking at the same sky somewhere distant. The dilemma of his feelings collided with each other: the longing for what could have been and the resignation of what was.

—Are you still thinking about that boy? — Chang-bin approached his side, feeling the lonely breeze of his friend.

— I thought he had been part of my imagination, but... he appeared after so long.

The two boys entered the room again while Agust, also a music lover, placed a vinyl record on the record player that his father once gave him. The song "The Things We Did Last Summer" by Jo Stafford started playing making Agust laugh.

— You have a serious problem in love, Agust. — said Chang-bin trying to cheer up the boy and then watched the smoke come out of his mouth sadly. — You have to decide.

— Decide?

— On the one hand, you have this boy who you don't know who he is. But you also have your ex, he is still in love with you.

— Taehyung is in love with Yoongi, he doesn't know about Agust D... Nor should he know.

In his mind, there was a dilemma that both lives, both personalities and facets would become one to live without worry. But Chang-bin's words were full of reason.

On Yoongi's lap, he received a yellow and white bracelet that Chang-bin gave him.

—Your boy left it lying around when we were in the middle of the fight... Maybe it will help you find him. But if you think about doing it, don't play with people's hearts. Decide once and for all who you are.

Chang-bin's words remained like an echo that traveled through the windows of that luxurious apartment. Agust ran his hands through his hair, feeling the weight of indecision and tension. He knew that he had to fix things in his life, that he couldn't continue dividing himself in two. The question was: How to find the balance between Agust D and Yoongi?