Chromatober 2023

Day 21 - Guilt

Series: Rainbow Quest (Part 4 of Flower)

--- Dark Steve P.O.V. ---

I coughed as the smoke entered my lungs, and my eyes stung with tears.  Was the fire really still burning?  Through my watery vision, I could see the blue flames burning brightly against the darkened landscape.  Did Nightmare really expect there to be resources left here?

Huge craters littered the ground where the Orange Village had once been.  Memories of the complete village burned in my mind, along with an overwhelming sense of grief.

Sorry, Dark, I'm trying to stop it.  Happy told me as I clutched at my chest.  I can't blame him.  This place used to be his home.  It used to be such a beautiful place, and it had taken a long time to build it.  What a shame to see it in ruins.

Slowly, the thoughts dimmed in my mind.  The subtle guilt didn't disappear, but I no longer thought of the place as my home.  It was just Happy's home.

No, this place was my prison.  My eyes darted to a tunnel, hidden within the shelter of a crater.

If I leave you down here, nobody will ever find you.  The words in my head are not from Happy or Assistant, just my own memories.  I shove them back, flexing my hands to remind myself that I wasn't stuck.  I could move around this village if I wanted to.

Was this what Nightmare wanted to remind me of, when he sent me here?  He had told me that he didn't trust me on the normal patrols for now, but sending me here for resources didn't make much sense.  Not unless he wanted to remind me that I was vulnerable.  Which I wasn't.

I didn't want to be, anyway.

I was stuck down there for weeks.

I suppressed a shudder, trying to redirect my focus.  The only things I could make out were some chunks of wool and wood, half of them on fire.  Nothing salvageable.

"Happy, did you even keep valuable resources in the village?"  I asked.  It still felt weird to talk to him out loud, but it didn't matter here.  There were no darkness creatures to judge me for it.

Um... not really.  Happy admitted.  Yellow Steves keep gold all over the place, but Orange Steves don't hoard resources.

"Of course they don't."  I sighed.  "So what am I supposed to do?  Just hang out here, doing nothing?  Why did Nightmare send me here?"

A punishment, probably.  Assistant whispered.  Nightmare is cruel, not stupid.

"Unless he wants me to take apart the machine..."  I realized.  There was metal and redstone down there, things that might be valuable for us.

Oh...  Happy seemed to agree with my thoughts.  Yes, I guess those would be considered resources.

I bit my lip as I slowly made my way down a crater, staring at the cramped tunnel that led to my former prison.  I hated this.  But I was darkness.  I was brave.

I deserved it, anyway.

The thought stopped me up short, and I could feel Happy and Assistant's confusion in my mind.  None of us understood the thought.  I pushed it aside.  Focus on the task.  Get it over with.

A sick feeling rose in my throat as I scanned the machine.

Weeks lost in my own mind, with nobody left to hear me.  I could see the hivemind searching, but I couldn't tell them where he had trapped me.  Nobody was coming.  I would be trapped here for the rest of my life.

Woah, calm down.  Assistant broke through the thoughts, freaked out.  It's okay, Dark.

Happy didn't chime in.  He was too busy suppressing his own terrified memories of the attack.

The metal felt unnaturally cold under my fingertips.  I shivered subconsciously.  My eyes wandered toward the lever.  If I flicked it, could I feel the redstone activate?  What if I trapped myself here on accident while I was dismantling the machine?

I don't think that's possible.  Assistant pointed out quietly.  My thoughts didn't want to listen.

I didn't want to be trapped.  It was scary down here.  It was dark and cold in this little cave.

If anyone found me, the steves would destroy me on sight.  They wouldn't fall for my shape shifting tricks again.

If nobody found me...

How long would I rot down here?

A choked sob reached my throat.  I wanted to leave this place.

My knees buckled, and I collapsed to the stone.

I hated it here.  I needed to leave.  I needed to get out.

The sobs stopped abruptly, and I stood up quickly.  I began to panic internally as my hand moved of its own accord, bringing lightning raining down on top of me so that I arrived in a new landscape.

Birds chirped softly in the trees.  The wind blew cooly against my skin.  The water in front of me rippled slightly as fish darted around, undisturbed by my presence.  There were orange tulips planted somewhere beside the lake.  I felt a sense of peace come over me as I retook control of my body.

"What the-"  I muttered, glancing around.

Sorry.  Assistant whispered in my head.  Neither you nor Happy was in the right state of mind.  This place was a calm spot of mine, back when I still worked under Nightmare.  I thought it might help both of you calm down.

He had helped me.

Even if... what I really deserved was to be trapped in that tiny machine.

Why?

Because I had hurt him.  I had hurt him and Happy.

Why were they being so nice to me?

The tears broke loose and streamed down my cheeks as I stared at the water.  Guilt tore into my heart like sword blades.

I had helped to destroy that village.

It was my fault that Happy was so sad.

What had I done?

I- I didn't want to be darkness anymore.

Ignoring the concerned voices of Happy and Assistant in my mind, I curled up and cried.

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Word Count: 948