I adored you Madly, Extravagantly, Absurdly.

Chapter 21

See, I didn't leave you hanging too long <3. My commute to uni is 53minutes rn and I get quite a lot of writing done during that so there is hope

I would say, "Enjoy" but you really won't.

***

" 'Oh Réné,' said she, 'what must you think of me?' 'That you love me dearly,' quoth he; 'do you not?' 'Yes, indeed; not wisely, but too well.' " Teleny 59

In the morning, James, Regulus, Barty, and Sirius hunt in the nearby woods. Remus never quite understood the joy aristocrats find in it.

Surprisingly, all four returned, and neither James nor Barty sustained an injury.

After their return to the house, the men take their luncheon outside. James asks him to meet him in the library after.

Remus is an intelligent man. He knows what is coming. He is aware that even James caught on to Sirius and his behaviour at this point.

"You wished to see me, my Lord," Remus says when he meets James in the library.

James sits in the reading corner, inspecting one of Lord Regulus' mystery novels. "Remus, sit with me. Let us speak as friends."

Reluctantly, Remus sits down. He doesn't want this conversation to happen. James knows too much of his past as it is.

"You remember how you told me the story of the ring and your lover who put you in prison?"

Remus grasps the fabric of his trousers.

"You said the name of your new lover doesn't matter. You don't think it mattered that it was Sirius?"

"Neither as my friend nor my employer did I want you to know. It is as simple as that."

"Why not?"

"Because he is your friend, and I knew you would insist on trying to fix it. There is no fixing it. It is over. Things are said and done. It cannot be changed."

"You could forgive each other. You could understand each other and find back to what you had before."

"We can't," Remus states matter-of-factly.

James sighs. "I spoke with Sirius yesterday."

"I assumed as much. So, has he told you of my horrible transgressions?"

"Regulus sent me out of the room after a while, so I do not have the full story. Sirius said, he told you he loved you and felt it didn't matter to you at all. He feels rejected and unlovable, Remus. He thinks you don't care and that you saw your union as nothing but lust and convenience. I know that isn't true."

No, it is not. But what does it matter now? Remus bites his tongue.

"Listen to me, my friend," James switches his seat and takes the place beside him. "Love is real. You are capable of love. You are worthy of love. And Sirius loves you. ...if you just explained about the other man, what he said, what you went through, Sirius will understand and forgive you."

Remus's body aches from nights spent sleeping on the cold floor of his room because his bed is forever soiled.

"He has told you how hurt he is," Remus says darkly, "Has he told you what he said to me?" He looks at James. "Has he told you what he did since coming here?"

James blinks at him, confused. "I thought you didn't talk."

"Oh, we did talk. He talked." Remus pushes himself up from the sofa. "While telling you how awful I am, has he told you how he fucked Oscar Wilde and one of your cousins on my bed? Has he told you how he laughed at me after?"