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Chapter 1
Surreal

He felt like he was dreaming.

The sight was all too much for him to take in at once, his soulmate cradled a newborn child in her arms;Their child.

Her hair was a mess, thrown up into a sorry attempt of a bun to keep her hair out from her face. Forehead layered with sweat, the stray pieces of hair that managed to escape her up-do clung to her face. E/c eyes curtained by h/c lashes fluttered as she blinked away the tears that fogged her vision. Her lips spread into a bright smile, all the pain she'd endured leading up to this moment already long forgotten.

Her gaze didn't leave the baby in her arms for a second, and she held them with such delicacy and care that didn't go unnoticed by the man who stood at her bedside.

"She has my hair..." She softly muttered, eyes looking over the scarce h/c strands of hair on the babies head. "I wonder if she has your eyes."

"I hope she has your eyes."

And for the first time in what felt like an eternity, her head turned to meet his gaze. Lips curling in amusement, he didn't miss the way her smile reached her eyes as she chuckled, crows feet becoming apparent. He didn't miss how her faint dimples that'd only appear when she smiled genuinely marked her cheeks.

"If she doesn't that's fine too..." Extending a hand towards the child's small palm, the white-haired man felt his heart squeeze when the baby tightly secured his finger in their small hand. "She's already perfect."

As if feeling the spotlight shun on her, her small eyes fluttered open.

'She's perfect.'

As familiar e/c eyes looked back at him that's all he could think.

'She's perfect and she's ours.'

"Do you want to hold her Satoru?"

At the calling of his name his heart dropped slightly, heart beginning to drum against his ribcage. Eyes moving up to meet his wife's, a look of uncertainty pouring from his blue eyes, one that made her laugh weakly.

"Don't be scared--" She teased with a small sigh, carefully easing the baby into his hold.

Hearing the exhaustion in her voice, he pushed his fear to the back of his mind as the soft fabric enclosing the little child's body grazed his finger tips.

"She's so tiny," He laughed to himself, trying to distract himself from the anxious feeling building in his chest. Cradling her close to his body, his brows turned up as a flurry of emotions suddenly hit him all at once.

Eyes tracing over every small feature and burning it into his memory, Satoru didn't even want to blink. His earlier fear was replaced, replaced with the fear of closing his eyes only to reopen them and discover that this was all just a dream.

He felt like was dreaming.

Because he was.

And the second he closed his eyes it was all gone when he reopened them.

His gaze was met with the ceiling of his dimly lit room, slithers of sunlight creeping in through the cracks of his blinds.

Heavy.

His heart felt heavy as he sat up, tilting his head back against his headboard.

"Satoru...?"

Her voice came out scratchy and was just above a whisper, and Satoru cursed himself in his mind for accidentally waking the woman beside him that deserved uninterrupted rest after everything she'd been through.

At the sound of her voice all his attention was given to her, his head turning to look down at his partner. His eyes couldn't help but fall to the ring adoring her finger as she rubbed her eyes tiredly.

The guilt he felt looking at the ring was insufferable, a pain like no other.

Satoru had dealt with his fair share of shitty times, life seeming to deal him nothing but unlucky cards.

But this. What did he ever do to deserve this?

Much less, how could he ever think about himself or his own feelings when due to his faults the woman he'd sworn to protect had suffered.

Her e/c eyes closed and reopened a few times as she regained her consciousness, but as her vision cleared her brows furrowed as she suddenly sat up.

"What happened??" Her hands found their way to his cheeks, his face instantly warming at her touch. He could do nothing but weakly lay his hand over her much smaller one as he stared at her helplessly.  "Why're you crying?"

So overwhelmed with feelings of remorse he didn't even feel the warm tears that'd spilled all over his cheeks until they were addressed.

"You're scaring me Satoru,"

What did he ever do to deserve this?

A woman who still willingly stayed by his side after everything he'd put her through. The fact that she still stared at him so lovingly only added greatly to his pain.

"I'm sorry." An apology he must've said over a thousand times now.

A look of familiarity spread across Y/n's features, her face relaxing as one of the hands she used to cup Satoru's cheek slithered to the back of his head. Pulling him down to her height gently she wrapped her other arm around his back.

Without wasting a second Satoru returned her embrace, burying his head in the crook of her neck. His grip on her waist was strong, like she'd slip out of his hands at the slightest chance.

"It's not your fault." Y/n tried to reaffirm him, but feeling material of her shirt dampen even more she knew her words were doing more bad than good. Nothing could be said to relieve Satoru of this dreaded feeling. So instead of using her words she held him tighter, trying to return the same squeeze he was giving her.

Laying back down with Satoru in her arms, her fingers gently massaged his scalp as they worked through his soft white tresses. Kicking her leg over his waist, she barely allowed any room to remain between their bodies.

Closing his eyes, Satoru tried to focus on the rhythmic beating of her heart to lull him back to sleep. Maybe if he were lucky enough he could catch a break for once, and he'd be sent back to the dream he'd awoken from.

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