SEEK GOD

Part 4: Learning to Let Go

To be honest, letting go has always been a challenge for me. I tend to hold onto bad memories, and it feels like a never-ending cycle. Flashbacks visit me often, stirring up anger and hate within.

I used to have this intense desire for revenge, not in the sense of causing harm, but rather wishing for a situation where my enemies and bullies would come pleading for my forgiveness. I'm a deeply emotional person, and I easily let others into my life when I feel even the slightest bit of comfort. But when they disappoint me or do something hurtful, I find it incredibly difficult to release the pain. It leaves me emotionally drained, and all I can think about is soaking my pillow with tears.

The weight of the future, school, career, and sports often burdens my mind. Whenever troubles arise, my instinct has been to run away from them. Recently, I found myself leaving a group to avoid facing an argument. I had discovered peace through my spiritual journey, and I feared that getting entangled in conflict would shatter that peace, causing me to regress to my past. I was afraid that my anger would lead me to sin through hurtful words. That wasn't right because God's words doesn't tell us to run away from our problems but to face them righteously.

I've been finding solace and guidance in the words of the Bible:

1. Ephesians 4:26-27 - "In your anger, do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold."
2. James 1:19-20 - "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires."
3. Proverbs 14:29 - "Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly."
4. Colossians 3:8 - "But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips."

These verses have brought me comfort, too:

1. 1 Peter 5:7 - "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."
2. James 1:2-4 - "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
3. Matthew 6:34 - "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
4. Psalm 34:17-18 - "The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
5. Philippians 4:6-7 - "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

If these words don't touch your heart, then maybe you should try fasting for two years straight! The Bible truly is the most incredible book in the world, which is why it's called the Holy Bible. During my journey of seeking God, I've come to recognize my flaws, and I'm grateful for the opportunity to change and become a better person, not just for God, but for myself.

I have finally let go of the painful past and my anger, and I can't help but wonder why I carried such a heavy burden for so long. Those memories were meaningless and only caused me tears. Instead of wasting my energy on them, I could have asked God to help me carry the weight and guide me in the right direction. I now realize that some of the problems I face are a result of allowing anger to take control. If only I had remained composed, I wouldn't have been trapped in those difficult situations.

But you know what's truly amazing? Through my journey, I've discovered peace. It's a feeling I can't quite put into words. It fills my heart with sadness to think that there are people out there who haven't experienced this indescribable feeling. However, I'm determined to share this peace with as many people as I can reach. After all, spreading love and peace is one of the most beautiful things we can do in this world.