Endi~Rebelde

2.

Pov~Andi

I feel bad because I left this morning without saying anything. As much as last night was confusing. It was the best sleep I've gotten since she left. As much as I wish she didn't affect me, she has more effect on me than anyone ever has. But she won't talk about her feelings.

I have been avoiding Emilia all day. After last night's events, I'm so confused. Bueno, I'm not confused with myself or my feelings towards her, but I have no idea how Emilia feels. I know exactly how I feel. I want to love her and hold her in my arms. I want her to let me love her. Today is important and we're all getting dressed up, so wherever she is I'm not.

Today is the day we go to the event for Gus. God I hate him. I hate him for pushing me to my limits. I hate him for breaking up Rebelde. I hate him for taking advantage of his power. I hate him for expelling Emilia. But most of all I hate myself for pushing him to that. I can't even believe I did that. She says it's okay and she deserved it, but all she deserves is love. I embarrassed her in front of all her friends, got her expelled, and ruined our relationship. It took me a long time to realize that everything she had done was for me. Tonight I'm going to talk to her about everything and tell her how sorry I am.

I had to do my makeup with a mirror in my loft because 1 bathroom between Jana, Emilia, and MJ was barely working, so I just sat in my comfy bed and relaxed while I got ready. As I'm finishing my eyeliner I look down to see everyone's progress on their hair and makeup. The bathroom door is cracked and I can see Emilia doing her makeup. She looks amazing. I don't just get butterflies when I see her. I feel a flower blooming in my stomach and taking all of my oxygen at the same time. As angelic as she is she isn't wearing her normal Emilia cheeky smile or even her raging rbf. She looks sad. I haven't really thought much into it as I've been trying to keep my distance, but she's been like this all day. She is listening to this one song that we both know all too well.

*Flashback*

I'm sitting on the couch waiting for Emilia to be ready for our date. It's not gonna be a big thing just an evening picnic to watch the sunset. As always Emilia is taking forever and I'm getting increasingly bored. I can hear her listening to Brazilian funk and singing her heart out. Then she changes it to a slower song that I have become familiar with and fond of as she listens to it religiously. I quickly get up and open the door to see her cheeky smile waiting for me. "How did you know I was gonna come over here" "Ay Andi because I know you duh" As she said that I stood behind her and admired her as she finished her mascara. I love looking at her. I love everything about her. Her eyes, her hair, especially the funny face she makes while putting on mascara "Earth to Andi" I hear her say as I get pulled back to reality. She just smirks and starts dancing and I join her. I take her hand and spin her to look at me. As she looks up at me I take in her whole face. I bend down a little and give her a kiss on her cheek while still holding her hand. "Guau Andi! you really can't help yourself " I can't help but stare as she giggles and her cheeks turn a deep pink as I continue to stare at her. "Hey, Andi are you okay you haven't really said anything and you just keep staring at me and I mean I like you a lot but this is getting creepy-" "I just love you" I paused and slowly let go of her hand. I realized what I had just said. It was the truth but I wasn't supposed to say it right now. She looks startled, not just startled but scared. My mind was running a mile a minute. Omg Andi what did you just do? Of course, I've always felt that way about her but I have no idea if she feels the same way. I slowly walk out of the bathroom towards the couch. From what I can hear she hasn't moved. "Ah um perdón" I say in a hushed tone. I'm so embarrassed I just sit on the couch and start drumming on my legs to distract myself. I hear her walking towards me and sitting down on the couch. "did you mean it" I turn to look at her and she has tears in her eyes. I don't know if wants me to mean it or is praying that I say no. "Claro Emilia you're my favorite person ever and being with you feels like spending every day in summer taking in all the sunshine " I continue to look at her searching her face for something that will remotely tell me what she is feeling. "Are you okay Emilia?" I can't help but ask her as her tears are fighting to fall. "sí um es que no one has ever said that to me. my dad didn't care enough to even earn money let alone tell me that and my mom was a housewife that kept to herself all the time. but I can't be your sun the sun is amazing but I just come with problems and what if I don't get a job and I um have to go back" Neta her leaving is my biggest fear I don't think I can live without her. " that doesn't mean I can't love you, even if you do have to go back it doesn't mean things between us end forever" "I love you and I hope I stay because I don't know what I would do without you" she stares into my eyes for a second then says "Andi I love you so much more than you'll ever know, your so amazing and I think you are your sun because I know how I can get" I almost stop her but she continues, "You're like oxygen, I can't live without you and I never want to"