KISS LIST || TOM KAULITZ

𝑃𝐴𝑅𝑇 𝑁𝐼𝑁𝐸

MAIVY POV

I sit at lunch with everyone else, talking about who I should tackle next in my list.

"Do Peyton next!" "Nope, do James!" "Just kiss Tom!"

I look to Gustav at his response, clearing my throat. "Which ones easier you think, James or Peyton." I say looking around to all of them.

"What's the point in wasting your time if you're never gonna get a kiss out of him?" Gemma sighs, glaring to Tom. "It's fine Gemma, leave him be i'll figure it out."

"I have good reason for not kissing anyone, you just don't need to know." Tom shrugs. "It's because of Lucia his ex- girlfriend." Gemma mocks, the word 'girlfriend.'

"Shut up you don't know what you're talking about. Don't talk about her." He slams his hand against the table, he was super pissed within a matter of seconds.

"Looks like you hit a nerve, Blue." I giggle.

"Shut up, just shut up." Tom threatens. "Or what?" I tilt my head at him slightly.

"This is why you're a slut who no one fucking likes! Stop talking about things you don't know about. If you think you're ever getting a kiss from me to get into that silly fucking team of yours, oh you are so far off Maivy." Tom shakes his head.

"Thanks for your input! Also, fuck you Tom." I say sarcastically, grabbing my bag and walking away.

Why was he so rude to me? I haven't even done nothing to him, I just needed one thing from him and he wouldn't give it to me, I just wanted to be apart of something a team. I just wanna go home.

Home, home. Not here, but in New York.

TOM POV

"Why would you say that!" Gemma starts yelling at me. "I didn't mean to, it just came out okay? She was talking about things she has no idea about!" I yell back.

"You could've told her to just stop you didn't have to crush her hopes and dreams like that?! How would you feel if someone told you, you couldn't achieve what you were best at?! Hm!? " Gemma pushes me back.

"Fuck, fine i'll go apologize." I say, storming off.

I push the exit doors open, walking away annoyed. "Ivy?!" I yell, looking around, no response.

"I know you're out here where are you?" I continue to move my eyes in a thousand directions searching.

"Fuck, you scared me." I put my hand on my heart looking down at her curdled up body, as she looks up squinting her eyes at the sun, the skin on her face was slightly glistening. I felt bad, I did.

It was one of the couple days a year in Seattle where it was sunny, it was usually always raining.

I slide down, sitting next to her. "I'm sorry for saying that, I didn't mean it." I apologize. "You meant it." She nods, not making eye contact with me.

"I didn't though, I was just mad." I put my head on my knees, staring ahead with her. She doesn't respond.

"Can you keep a secret?" I move some of her hair behind her ear. "More then likely yes." She finally responded. "Lucia was my ex." I admit.

"Well no shit sherlock." Maivy mocks.

"Do you want the back story or not?" I turn my head, laying it in her lap. Maivy was taken aback by the sudden movement, but just started to play with my dreads, not exactly talking but.

"Yes or no?" I squint my face up. "If you don't mind then I don't mind." Maivy continued to play with my dreads, as she listened to the story.

"I've never told any women I loved her other then Lucia and my mother, so keep that in mind." Maivy nods, still not responding.

At least she was listening to me.

"So, beginning of last year Lucia and I started to date. Maivy you wouldn't imagine our relationship. Honestly, if you told me we were to break up I would've called you crazy." I snicker.

"I did everything for her, but she would never give these things in return. I would take her out, buy her clothes, food, anything you can imagine." I sniffle, as I continue with my story.

"I let her move in with me, because of some family issues that was going on with her. We would watch movies, she even convinced me to let her paint my nails all different colors she wanted."

"So long story short, I was really in love with her Maivy, I wouldn't imagine ever falling in love like that again. But then, one morning I woke up and she wasn't in my bed anymore..." I pause, looking up to not let the tears fall.

"All her clothes, were gone. She had left me a note saying I was a horrible guy, how she never loved me and she cheated on me profusely throughout everything." I turn my head, feeling some tears fall down.

Maivy wipes some of my tears off the corner of my eyelids, still just listening to me as my head was laid in her lap. She didn't speak once, she just let me talk.

"Brace yourself for this next part, i've never told anyone this." I sit up, wiping away my tears.

Maivy puts her pinky out, giving me a sad smile. I interlock my pinky with hers, smiling back.

"After I found out the news, I went to the bathroom cabinet, taking every kind of pill known to man. I loved Lucia, I thought my life without her would've been shit. I wasn't thinking properly."

"Oh god, Bill." I rub my temples, not looking at Maivy. I didn't want to know the face she was making.

"He found me, in the middle of my bedroom floor. I woke up, a couple hours later with Bill's fingers in my mouth as he tried to get me to puke it out." 

"Tom." Maivy says, I finally move my gaze to her making eye contact. She pulls on my shoulder, embracing me in a hug.

I didn't expect this, at all.

I still hugged back though.

"I can't believe she did that Maivy, I haven't seen her since." I shake my head against her shoulders.

I rub her back, closing out the hug.

"So that's why I don't do anything intimate, with anyone. I don't hold hands with any of the girls I sleep with, I don't kiss them. I barely even touch them, it's too much for my brain to handle, love isn't real. It's all a scam." I didn't believe in love, not anymore.

"I get it, I won't push it anymore." She smiles warmly. "What about your team? I don't wanna ruin your chances." I felt bad, for her I did.

But I just couldn't be intimate with anyone like that. Maybe ever again.

"It's fine, i'll figure it out. Maybe i'll try out for the dance team instead or something." She shrugs.

"I'm sorry Maivy."